Getting 9 week old to settle for naps. Crazy 2.4 year old to keep happy/quiet. How to do both!?

[mrshotrod]

9 week old DD, bootifull, but a sleep fighter. Much more cuddly than her brother was, but struggles to settle herself for naps, which she always desperately needs. (Night time getting good, settles quickly after 1 or 2 night feeds.) Day time a right pain now. I watch her, and put her down after an hour or so. She'll be relaxed some times, then start to scream just as she should be falling asleep. It's like she just can't do the last bit. I've read BW, Sergeant GF, baby Secrets etc. Have clearly read too much and can't actually do anything practically!
She can settle from a different method for each of three or four naps in the day. Not so bad 2 days a week when DS not around, but hate to keep shhhsing him to, 'get the baby to sleep. It's not fair on him, but I'm hopeless at leaving her to cry. HV said 'Mum's often leave 2nd babies to cry, they have too.' Not much help, as I just cant. She likes to be rocked, have a dummy, boob fed to sleep, once she bottle fed to sleep. Rocked in arms, over shoulder, across legs. Sometimes in pram, but no one thing works every time.
DS didn't have a dummy and went down in cot for a morning nap since he was tiny, BUT it took ages to get him to learn to self soothe, and I had the time to do it. (He also always slept well in pram. Not so easy to do 2nd time round. Can't drag DS out for a walk every three hours, plus wonky walking with buggy board several times a day would cripple me for life.)
Wish I could sort it. She screams so much when she's over tired, and gets so upset. Also, this 'EASY' method. How does that work if she wakes way before a 3 hourly ish feed is due? We're in a bit of a pickle. HV just says, if she's sleeping at night, you're doing fine. Great, thanks. Maybe but daytime can be a bloody nightmare!
Sorry for long waffle. I'm just struggling having two of them.
Do I just have to let her scream and keep popping in between re-plays of Chuggington?

[DomesticGoddess31]

i can't help but I'm watching with interest as I have exactly the same problem with DD1....

[perrinelli]

I feel your pain - , dd1 is 3.5yo and dd2 is 9wks. I don't have a specific solution but we just muddle through. I try to make the most of when dd2 is at nursery or dh is home to take more time settling dd2 and trying to teach her to self settle a la baby whisperer, when both are around we just do the best we can and I accept that things aren't ideal, eg. Dd2 will get rocked in my arms with the dummy or in the sling. I too have been reading books to the point of confusion - they're all so different (the babies that is) but for us I have now ditched BW in favour of sergeant GF but only in terms of feeding times as I find dd2 cannot manage to stay awake nearly as long as GF suggests so she ends up sleeping longer in the day. I too didnt get on well with the EASY thing because she went to sleep too soon and woke up early! I do find though that now she's a bit older she can wake from a nap and not neessarily need a feed straight away, I try not to feed her more than every 3.5hrs because she then isn't really hungry and doesn't take a full feed - she's FF.

Sorry not much help but I know what it's like to have a preschool hollering for you when you are trying to settle a tricky baby. I try my best to set her up with stuffs beforehand (Balamory is the current favourite!). I also think now that the new babies are not quite so new it is probably ok to be a bit firmer about mummy needing some quiet time with the baby.

I might leave the baby whimpering and sometimes she goes back to sleep, but no way full on crying at this age as It just escalates and she gets herself into a real state.

[perrinelli]

Btw bedtime is our hideous time of the day and I start to dread it as the say wears on. The baby is impossible to settle and dd1 is really tricky and needs loads of input. Really hoping it will get better soon!

[perrinelli]

Sorry for typos!

[mrshotrod]

Hi Perrinelli,
It seems we have very much the same babies and situation to deal with! We had two major, major meltdowns today, and after not even an hour of being awake each time. Papoose worked the first time and eventually, lying down feeding and then papoose for the 2nd one. Nightmare.
Like you say, they get tired when they've been awake an hour, sleep for an hour or less, then wake up. Not hungry yet, and not tired, and then the two happen at the same time and they get so worked up they can do neither! We did a very rough GF timings with DS, and it kind of worked, a bit, but this baby can't stay awake anywhere near what that bossy book suggests. (I REALLY need to stop reading books!)
Am still worried about the sleep props issue, though currently, no one thing works everytime. Am probably over stimulating her. She does settle fairly well at night, in the dark after (a scream and) a feed, and often with a dummy, but it can take an hour, and when Bloke is away (1 or 2 nights a week) it's v hard leaving DS with 2 flights of stairs between us. He, bless him, wants to 'Play with me mummy', rather a lot, and I want to, but end up getting short with him and snapping because DD won't settle, and he isn't the most patient of children. (mind you, what 2 year old is.) Not fair on him at all.
I wonder if I should try to cover the pram over and make it dark and try that in the day? I think I'm going to do as you are and really work on it on my two toddler free days.