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One hour of screaming in cot pre sleep.

(16 Posts)
megcleary Mon 01-Aug-11 09:11:04

I don't know what to do. DD 2 is 25 weeks old and never been an easy sleeper.
It has gone from lying beside the cot holding both her hands to stop her pulling her ears off or eyes out. to the minute she lies in the cot full on screaming. Last night being the worst.

Took me nearly lying on top of her shh in her ear rocking her in the cot on her side holding her hands before she settled and slept. In the middle of in DH and I had a blazing row as he thinks we she let her cry and go and reassure her every two minutes until she sleeps. I don't know if thats CIO or CC but I don't want to do it I think shes to you but me screaming into a pillow with frustration and shouting at a baby is not good either. To top it off DD1 asked id DH to mummy to get out of the room last night and if mummy was crying downstairs. When I calmed down I went back and eventually got her to sleep.

Its effecting every part of my life I am sick of her sleeping beside me which is what i do when she wakes up for her two feeds, dread bedtime DH and I are rowing and DD1 is now being upset by it and as for the most important part dd2 god knows how she feels.

I have put a childs duvet under the sheet in the cot to see if it the hardness of the mattress upsetting her but laid awake all night as I was worried she would be sick and that it was dangerous, is it?

Help.

GreenTeapot Mon 01-Aug-11 09:17:23

Oh crikey, you poor thing sad

Um, a few thoughts - is she overtired? Does she nap well, and how does she settle for them? Is she just not ready to self-settle yet - would feeding or rocking work? Could she have a bit of reflux and find settling on her back uncomfortable - what about putting her down on her front (obviously this is not advised by FSIDS so you will need to look into it and make your own mind up, but I have done it with both of mine as they have got older and found their sleep improved a lot)?

megcleary Mon 01-Aug-11 09:39:06

Naps are 30 mins maybe 3-4 a day in buggy or rocked in bouncy chair, at night she usually falls asleep in bottle for night feeds but occasionally have to hold her hands again. Not sure on the reflux, last night she rolled herelf onto her tummy for the first time and did sleep.

megcleary Mon 01-Aug-11 11:39:15

anyone out there

GreenTeapot Mon 01-Aug-11 12:22:10

Maybe make sure you start bedtime things straight after her last nap and keep it very low key. Mine always lost the plot when they were too tired at bedtime at that age. I didn't bath them in the evenings for that reason.

onlylivinggirl Mon 01-Aug-11 12:27:50

Is the cot flat- can you make the mattress slope at all - some babies seem to get more tummay ache lying flat?

Also have you been to a sleep clinic (NHS one)

BertieBotts Mon 01-Aug-11 12:30:17

I know in the no cry sleep solution it says that naps are the key, and really they need to be over an hour to "count". Is it feasible to try and keep her asleep this long or will she only sleep when moving really?

Albrecht Mon 01-Aug-11 12:45:40

Sounds horrible for everyone, ds was a bit like this at that age. Think looking back it was overtiredness, so they can't let go and fall asleep as they are too wound up.

Agree with Bertie that extending the naps might help. As soon as she wakes rock, feed, whatever to get her back to sleep. It got a lot better once he could move about and was totally exhausted - 2.5 hour naps no problem at 9 monthsish.

If you don't want to leave her to cry, don't do it. Sometimes they just need you to be there with them while they let it out imo. We used to walk up and down with ds until he calmed down.

megcleary Mon 01-Aug-11 14:33:24

Once or twice in ever she has done a two hour nap and thats it. I try every day to get her to sleep longer, to the detriment of her older sister who has to keep quiet most of the day as i sit rocking DD2. Its taking over our lives.

megcleary Mon 01-Aug-11 17:47:02

starting to dread bedtime now

auburnlizzy78 Mon 01-Aug-11 18:14:15

Sympathies. We had a horrible time between 4-7 months at bedtime, just screaming battles every night which I used to dread.

Is your DD absolutely stuffed full of milk and or solids if you have started to wean? Helped us at least eliminate hunger as a cause for not wanting to sleep.

Any teeth coming through? They tend to bother DS in the evenings and when he's laid flat on his back. We're not shy about a speculative dose of infant nurofen pre bedtime (doc has advised this is perfectly ok). I think it makes DS a bit drowsy too. If it IS teeth that's the problem, in 15 mins he's drowsy and easier to settle.

Have you tried making bedtime a bit later? This made a BIG difference to us. 7pm = screaming battle till 8-8.30. 8pm = DS so exhausted he fell asleep naturally and was much easier to put down.

Albrecht Tue 02-Aug-11 09:02:43

Yeah I was going to say if bdtime is so bad why not keep her up a bit later? I know its hard when you want some down time and to get on with all the jobs you can't do when they are awake but it might give you a break from screaming.

I think its worth a try perhaps?

HeatherSmall Tue 02-Aug-11 09:07:01

25 weeks ?????
She's tiny and you are doing CC ?
The duvet under the sheet is dangerous, the mattress needs to be firm.

megcleary Tue 02-Aug-11 11:35:14

Oi HeatherSmall read please we have not done the CC, keeping her up makes her cry too. Will take the duvet out, hard to concentrate on nap extending as DD1 needs some attention too, sigh.

violetbubbles Tue 02-Aug-11 11:46:32

Oh megcleary I remember that age very well. It can be a very difficult time and it sounds like you're exhausted from it all. You shouldn't do CC unless you're comfortable with it and 'ready' for it, so I won't tell you how we dealt with our DDs sleep issues. But I do recall that when she could flip herself over onto her front she finally stopped screaming at bedtime and seemed much happier sleeping most of the night on her front. I think she was about 7 months at this point. Like you I was very worried about her sleeping this way so I spent a small fortune (for me anyway) on an Angelcare baby monitor system. This caused me to panic a little less as it monitors the babies movement and if there's no breathing/movement for 20 seconds the alarm goes off. I understand this isn't full proof but it helped me deal with my daughter's preferred sleeping position.

Best of luck! smile

Sowlers Tue 02-Aug-11 17:54:27

Hi hope you don't mind me butting in... My DS is 16 weeks and since he was 2 weeks old has slept on his tummy. After 2 weeks of no sleep and what felt like forcing him to sleep in an uncomfortable position on his back I made the big decision to let him go where he seemed more at ease, on his belly. I then used a sleep training method I was comfortable with (can tell u if u r interested) and from 12 weeks old he has slept between 10 and 12 hours a night with the odd short settling in the early hours. I now have a happy baby and I'm a much happier Mammy!
The tummy sleeping is a contentious issue I know, but my DS has good strong head control and even at 2 weeks had a strong neck and would sleep with his face to the side.
Good luck with you little one. smile

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