DD1 is 5 months. I also have a 3.5 yr old DS. DD started off sleeping well. She has a bed nest (attached to our bed) and slept 10-11 hours from 3 months. I bf her and she won't take a bottle. 8 weeks ago her sleep started to deteriorate. I wasn't surprised - 4 mo sleep regression, early teething and so on - but instead of getting back to normal it has got worse and worse.
She now will only sleep next to me, and basically wants to feed every half hour. I put her to bed at 6pm but it now takes 2.5 hours to settle her, and then I get about an hour if I'm lucky before she starts waking up. Previously she'd be asleep by 7pm and would wake at the earliest at midnight.
She barely sleeps during the day. I can't get her to nap, although she desperately needs it. She wakes 10-30 mins after going to sleep, even if she's being moved around in the pushchair, being bounced in her bouncy chair, being driven around in the car. So she spends pretty much all day screaming at me because she's tired but I could just about cope with that until she stopped sleeping at night.
I am getting depressed. I spend so much of my time angry and in tears. I sometimes hate her. I shout at my DH all the time and sometimes I hate him as well, just because I need someone to blame. He can't do anything because the baby won't respond to anyone bar me and because she won't take a bottle.
She wants to feed all the time. I don't want to feed her any more. I can't stand her being near me and yet I have to have her in my arms otherwise she screams and screams and doesn't stop. Last night I tried to settle her without putting her on the boob and she basically fought me - screaming so loudly it hurt my ear, flailing her arms and legs. I held her all the time, rocking her and singing to her but it made no difference. She just screamed and only stopped when I fed her.
I can't sleep. She wants to be in my bed, but when she is I can't sleep, basically because she just suckles constantly.
I don't understand how this happened. She was doing so well. I was careful not to let her fall asleep on the boob and she'd go into her cot awake, turn her head to one side and go to sleep. It sometimes took 2 or 3 goes but we always managed it. I always sat up with her and did this specifically so that this situation wouldn't happen. But it happened anyway.
I am starting to have suicidal thoughts. My DH thinks I have PND but it's not PND, I am just exhausted. I never get a lie in, no one can ever take the baby because she feeds so frequently, I can't sleep when she sleeps because she basically doesn't and worst of all my poor, poor DS (3.5 years) just doesn't get a look in because she's so bloody demanding and I am so bloody tired. I miss my DS. I am being a shit mum to him and clearly am a shit mum to my DD, as otherwise she wouldn't be doing this.
I don't want to leave her to cry. I don't think it would work and it goes against my parenting instincts, but I don't know what else to do. I just don't know what to do. I need a break. I don't need a great deal of sleep, I never expected her to sleep through, and I can deal with 2-3 wakings a night but it's every half hour and getting worse and no evenings to myself, no time to myself at all.
I keep reading all the books on sleep and none of them seem to apply. I've been doing the No Cry Sleep Solution since day 1.
I know this is a long rant and I'm not sure anyone will respond. But if you have any ideas or advice or even just had a baby like this - I don't know anyone who has a baby like mine and when I tell people she doesn't sleep during the day they look at me like I'm insane. And my neighbours think I'm some sort of terrible mother because every time I take her out she screams.
I never wanted it to be like this. I didn't expect it to be such a fight, such a struggle. I just want to spend time with my kids. I didn't expect it to be easy, I can deal with being tired but this? This I can't deal with and I'm worried that I will hurt myself or my baby.
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I really am at the end of my tether. Please please give me some advice.
22 replies
Birdsnotbees · 26/07/2011 06:16
OP posts:
SittingBull ·
26/07/2011 06:53
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