Some sense needed from someone please!

[ItsMeYourCathy]

Evening all..
I need some ACTUAL sense / advice from you ladies as I'm not getting any from my HVs
My DS is 13 weeks old. He feeds on 7oz every 4 hours during the day. We put him to bed at about 8 and leave him to settle alone, which he does well and has done since about 6 weeks. By that time he is practically comatosed and can fall asleep on the bottle but does manage the 7oz. He has gradually slept longer to the point where he is waking at 3 am or thereabouts for a feed and is RAVENOUS!
I have questions that the HVs wont give me a straight answer to:
Is this normal for a 13 week old?
How do I get him to sleep through? Am I expecting too much of him in sleeping through at this age?
When should I be putting him to sleep alone in his room all night? (we put him in his room in the moses basket and then bring him in with us when we go to bed about 11).
I should add he's a big lad - 14lb 11oz.

I'd really appreciate your help and advice. The general HV comments are that they all go at their own pace, which for me, isnt really helping with my 1st time mum questions and worries.

[matana]

Sounds like a great sleeper to me. He would be ravenous being such a big boy - i'm impressed he goes as long as that!

I think you're expecting too much of him really. DS still doesn't go from 7 till 7 and he's 8 months. He goes from 7/8pm till around 5am, then back to bed till 6.30/ 7am

SIDS advice is to have your LO in your room till 6 months. Being such a big boy though he'll outgrow his moses basket before then, so go with your instinct.

HTH

[ItsMeYourCathy]

Thanks matana
Yep, he's outgrowing that basket alright! Just popped in to look at him and his fully stretched out hands and feet are at the top and bottom. Bless his giant cotton socks
I thought it was a lot to expect him to sleep through but one HV told me he should be, the other said he will when hes on solids and the other gave the 'own pace' line. Very confusing!
Thanks again x

[theothermrsclooney]

Actuslly think your HV is right and that they all progress at their own rate. My DS had night feeds until he was about 16 mths old, he too is a big boy (98th centile on weight and height since early months) and was growing rapidly. He would take a whole bottle at about 3 or 4am and then sleep until 7.30. When I tried to stop the night feeds (stupidly listening to other people telling what they thought I should be doing) he would eventually settle back to sleep after up to an hour's protest and then wake for the day before 6am. The quick night feeds were easier for us all. I know other mums who have had a similiar experience but then know others with boys that have slept through with no intervention from 6 weeks, it really does vary from child to child.

I know what it feels like to need a full night's sleep could you share the night feed with your DP? Two night on and two nights off may give you both a chance to catch up on your sleep?

I kept both my DCs in with us until they were at least 6 mths old but were lucky to have a big bedroom that had space for a full size cot (DS had outgrown his moses basket early on!)

Good luck and try to just go with it if you can. I tried to take control with DD1, she wouldn't conform to what I thought she should be doing (sleeping etc) and I just became more stressed. It can be hard being a first time mum as you just want to do your best and unfortunately there's no instruction book...

[ItsMeYourCathy]

Thanks theothermrsclooney (I wish!)
My OH is bloody marvellous and does the 3 am feed. I may marry him all over again for this reason! I tried to stop that night feed and it just resulted in tired me and unhappy him. That was on advice of HV and a book. I have since given up on the books!
Its not really an issue feeding him in the night, I was just worries that it wasn't 'normal'. From both your replies I think going with our gut seems to be the way forward - and what I've felt like doing all along.
Thanks! x

[EthelredOnAGoodDay]

DD was similar. was big when born and stayed that way, so by 12 weeks she had to go in her own room as she'd outgrown her moses and the cot wouldn't fit in our room. DD did cluster feed (she was BF) though and that seemed to help with her sleeping through quite early as i think she was very full! I think they do go at their own pace, but i think you aren't doing so badly really! It will just happen when it happens and frankly don't think the solids thing has much bearing on it... Sounds like everything is going in the right direction.

[somersetmum]

Have you tried dream feeding? This means feeding him whilst he is asleep. You could perhaps try giving him a bottle at around 10.30pm; this could hopefully mean that he sleeps through his 3am waking.
I have no experience of this as never tried it myself, but my sister managed it successfully. The only problem then is knowing when to break the habit, but I suppose he will just stop taking it if he doesn't need it.

[theothermrsclooney]

That's the best piece of advice - Burn the books (especially by those written by she who cannot be named!)

Am hoping now that George is a free agent now I may be able to change to therealmrsclooney (just need to agree with DH!)

[theothermrsclooney]

Sorrym that should have read "especially those written by...."

[madmomma]

Yeah they can need a night feed much later than 13 weeks - up to 6 months is to be expected. He'll prob start sleeping through whenever you put him on solids. (don't care that that's not PC!) Don't feel you have to wait 4 hrs between feeds if he shows signs of being hungry before then. I really recomment the bottlefeeding advice in Gina Ford's books. Not the breastfeeding advice though.

[madmomma]

Ooops! Just seen that you're sick of books. Ignore me then

[ItsMeYourCathy]

Thanks for all your replies. He slept till 4.30 on Friday night and ptobably would have done the same last night except he decided to wake himself up for a mahoosive poo at 3. Such is life :)

[CocktailQueen]

OMG, mot sleeping thru till 1 yr is normal!!! Carry on and feed at night as required...

[cheekyginger]

I've not read all the other replies.....but was wondering if you had tried a dream feed.....?
My wee one is only 9 weeks but we tend to feed him at midnight or earlier if he wakes first.......then he can sleep through till 6-6.30 ish. We are hoping to bring the midnight feed earlier as he gets bigger and can sleep for a longer stretch.
You said your wee one is waking up revenous...have you tried hungry baby milk??
Dont think there is a normal when it comes to a baby "sleeping through", every baby is different.....some parents are just very lucky!!

(Sorry if ive repeated ideas that others have offered)