Any other "baby whisperers" out there?

[suzym1984]

Hi,

I have a 4month old DS and have just started doing the BW routine to try and sort out our night time sleep, and drop some of the sleep props/bad habits.

I thought it might be nice if other people doing the BW could come on and chat about successes and difficulties, kind of like a support group where we can advise each other (and hand hold!). It's scary trying to change things!

[babyrose]

hi, suzym1984. we have been doing the bw way for about 6 months now and love it! i couldnt done it without the help we got there. my lo is 1 now we still have a few sleep issues but he never used to sleep at all!! now he sleeps 2 naps a day but now we are heading to 2-1 transition.

[suzym1984]

Hi babyrose!

I thought there would be more on this thread! oh well....

Can I ask what techniques you found useful to deal with night wakings? I have been using shush pat, but it doesnt always seem to work and some nights I resort to using a dummy

[babyrose]

at 6 months we just shush didnt pick him or feed him (we used to feed to sleep) he slept through the night for a wk until one morning he woke at 5 we thought he was hungry so fed big mistake!

at 9 months we stopped night feeds and used shush/pat but i think i used it wrong and he was waking every 2 hrs. things have settled down a bit now he has more activity time.

we used a dummy until recently and went cold turkey. hiw many night wakenings are there?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

suzy I didn't use the BW as I'd heard such bad things about it. Tracy Hogg who wrote it actually died a while ago, the books aren't evidence based and as far as I know, she never had any children herself and I'd never take advice on rearing children from someone who had never had any. So all these things put me off. Plus, I really don't agree with letting babies cry and its on the Kellymom's list of books that she owns but doesn't recommend.

If you want a different point of view from the BW then have a look at Nighttime Parenting and I found The No Cry Sleep Solution helped us lots.

[pettyprudence]

Jilted I'm sure tracy hogg mentions at the start of her book that she had daughters? Also she doesn't advocate letting babies cry.

[bsmirched]

Yes, she definitely had children of her own and doesn't advocate leaving babies to cry at all! I sometimes think that some of the information on here is a product of a sort of Chinese whispers!

Have you found the BW forums?

//www.babywhispererforums.com

Loads of excellent, sensible advice on there!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Not Chinese whispers bsmirched, I have actually read the book, SIL gave it to me when I was pregnant with DC2, must have just forgotten the children bit. My SIL was recommended it before she had her first DC and after reading it I can see why Bfing failed for her before she even left the hospital, can also see why its on Kellymoms Not Recommended List.

Gave her the BW back and read this instead. Its evidence based and was fab, DC2 turned out to be a very chilled out baby and I'm sure its because I'd read this book, here's the blurb:

Every baby has three basic needs that they rely on their parents to fulfil, namely human contact, food and sleep. If you can satisfy these three needs in your baby you will solve many difficulties you have with crying, sleeping and feeding, and help your baby to grow happy, calm and contented. Caroline shows you how with her three-step, tried-and-tested plan.

• Ways to help your baby sleep through the night
  
• Proven soothing techniques to comfort crying
  
• Successful feeding from bottle or breast
  
• Practical steps to solve problems with colic
  
• Establishing the right routine for you and your baby

[missmapp]

We used the advice in BW when our boys were small and it was excellent. I though the book made real sense and didnt push you to a very strict routine. Of course, we didnt follow it to the letter, but the 'shushing', reassuring and then leaving ( when baby crys in the cot) really worked in calming down baby and mummy!!! ( oh and I bf both for 6 mths, not sure why babywhisper advice would mean you wouldnt!)

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

missmapp not an expert on it by any means, read the book over 4 years ago but think its not recommended because it sets up false expectations. Mums read it and think that the baby will feed, play and then sleep but this simply isn't true for most newborns. Like I say though I'm not an expert, by any means and didn't follow the book. Think this book review explains it much better than I ever could.

Just wanted to point out to Suzy that there are better, evidence based books out there and just because BW is popular doesn't mean its good or right for everyone.

[suzym1984]

Hi all!

Thanks for the replies! I must say so far I am really pleased with the BW books, and it seems easy to follow when breastfeeding (compared to some other baby routine books).

We now usually only have 1 night waking, out of habit, that I am trying to break. Not having much success tho as at 3am I seem to forget the rules and what I am supposed to do

[suzym1984]

I must say I thought the whole point of the BW books is not to let babies cry. Not to break the trust etc. I like that about the book as I am a softy

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

suzy one night waking at 4 months is absolutely brilliant. She is still tiny, much too tiny to go through if she is hungry and at 4 months she may be having a growth spurt.

If you are a softy try the books I mentioned earlier or Sound Sleep by Sarah Woodhouse. At least these books are based on research and not just one woman's personal opinion.

[pettyprudence]

I like the advice on sleeping and the theory is pretty sensible. I haven't followed it religiously, just picked the bits that made sense to me as I assume most people do.

Jilted At newborn stage the activity is just a nappy change - no expectations of playing!

Her advice on breast feeding is absolute bollocks though but it was written in 2000 and that was the advice actually given to some friends who had babies at that time by midwives etc... My friend was shocked to see me offering DS the other side when he had finished the first as she had been told to only feed from one side. And I think she classes the 3hrs between breastfeeds as starting the from the beginning of the last feed, not the end of it (from looking at the examples of a day)

[pettyprudence]

Anyone have any idea what to do with a spirited baby who won't have a day time nap without a massive screaming fit because he's OT? There is about a 3 second window of opportunity between tired & OT. Shush/pat an pu/pt make him even angrier..... I have also tried sitting calmly with him but he just screams and screams.

DS is 12 wks.

TIA

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Have you tried a sling/pushchair/taking him out in the car petty? Deos swaddling help? If you are bfing have you tried offering more?

[pettyprudence]

Sleeps like a dream in the pram or car and goes down fine in the night swaddled. Its just daytime naps in his cot he doesn't like. Also doesn't like the sling - I think thats because when he is OT in the daytime he doesn't seem to like being held.

[sedgiebaby]

I've taken a lot of inspiration from the BW and NCSS, just tailoring the bits that appeal. I think the EASY is great, as is the 4's and shush pat. Didn't quite get along with PUPD but do a variation on it when needed. Took advice on the winding down and calm activities which works well for my high energy alert dd. I like the fact that she is strictly 'no cry' with sleep stuff and the emphasis on reading baby's cues and the interesting approach on early (ish) potty training which is working brilliantly for us. I think her point about encouraging baby to self settle early and being careful about feeding to sleep as time goes on is also useful.

Maybe not strongly research based but neither is NCSS but again very practical and useful ideas, and the BW author claims to have worked with some 5000 babies which is 5000 more than me, so I was/am still interested in her opinions. I do find that she recommends more napping time than dd's (when sleeping through) need and I've tended to follow GF for naps (short morning longer early pm one). In any case I'm pleased to say that baby generally sleeps through, naps well, is contented and very healthy gaining weight beautifully and is the most cheerful and smiley.

I think that Kellymom is an outstanding resource, that got me through several bf difficulties but one or two of her points are questionable in my view, the answer to everything seems to be offer a feed offer a feed offer a feed even during development leaps when baby is unsettled and sleeping poorly, this got me in trouble she just wanted to eat at night and feed to sleep and was tired and crabby all day. Mum and baby's sleep is pretty vital too which is overlooked/under emphasised sometimes by the bf guru's... Anyway using the EASY 4 hour routine sorted many issues for me at 4/5 months and her weight was better for not constantly snacking. Just my thoughts!

[sedgiebaby]

Prettyprudence, start winding baby down about 30 mins before you think dc is going to show any tiredness cues, start your 4s before you see cues but are expecting them, just stretch out the story book, the second you see yawn/eye rubbing get them close the curtains/swaddle etc this worked for my dd we had the same issue, once we saw the cues it was too late!

[sedgiebaby]

JiltedJulie the BW is strictly no cry, as am I...its part of why I quite liked her sleep training stuff