Feeling sorry for myself, 21 month old sleep sucks

[mdavza]

I am a veteran of these pages. My Dc was up for an hour again last night and even though my wonderful DH dealt with him, I just burst into self-pitying tears. Feeling so sorry for myself, feel like a shit mummy for not having the guts/heart/whatever to sleep train my child, but also furious with him for not bl sleeping through consistently.
The facts: He slept like an angel from 7 weeks to 8 months, 7-7, I kid you not. And then, last year this time, it all changed, he started teething, cold upon cold etc etc. And for the past year his sleep has been ok sometimes, rubbish mostly. It did start improving slightly at about 18 mnths, and now we'll have about 3-4 nights a week where he sleeps through.
We started giving him milk about two months ago (during the night) and that would keep him asleep. But it's something I'm wanting to stop, so we're in the process of gradually weaning him off that. He naps very well, and shortening his naps seems to make no difference to his night-time sleep, in fact, it makes it worse.
Now he's started getting out of his bed, and trots to the door, opens it and waits for us at the stairgate (we sleep downstairs).
We've let him cry a few times, always with us present, I don't feel it's right to leave him alone. Bleeding heart, me. I just wonder if it will pass, ever.
Please, other mums, tell me I'm feeling normal? I was so angry at night with him. We're talking about rapid return but does it really have long-lasting positive results? Dr Byron, are your reading this?!!

[dessen]

you must be tired out - don't know what to suggest.