Daytime sleeping in sling

[GavisconGirl]

My 8 week old sleeps in her sling during the day and is transferred from the sling into her cot at night. She then is fed to sleep and sleeps in her cot all night (normally with 2 dream feeds). In the morning she comes into our bed and has a snooze after her first feed.

I don't really have an issue with this at the moment, but everyone else (in laws, NCT friends) seems to think this is a big problem, that I am making a rod for my own back, she should be asleep in her moses basket etc etc. This is my first baby so I'm not an expert, but she is happy, very alert and interested in the world, doesn't cry much and is putting on lots of weight, so should I be worried? She takes 5 mins to nap in her sling (I make sure she naps after being up for about an hour) but I can spend hours trying unsuccessfully to get her to sleep in her basket. I'm worried that I should be doing something different and that I will eventually get into a situation where sleeping in the sling will become a big problem.

Does anyone have any experience or advice? I'm most concerned about getting her to sleep at night without the sling when she's bigger. Should I just go with what works for now, or should I be actively trying to encourage naps without the sling?

Any thoughts gratefully welcomed!!

[eldritch]

You are lucky that she's sleeping through (kind of!) at 8 weeks! I wouldn't worry about bad habits at this stage, she's still very tiny. Personally I think for the first 3 months you do whatever it takes to get them to sleep, mostly they learn to self settle when they are ready

[NormalityBites]

It sounds like you are doing fabulously to me.

I bet she's a beautiful snuggly little rod

[togarama]

Sounds perfectly normal and healthy to me. You seem to be doing a great job. Smile and ignore the (ignorant) critics.

DD (now 19 months) has always done most of her daytime sleeping in a sling / wrap while out and about and now has no problem getting to sleep either in bed with me or in her own little bed. Like your DD, she's good-tempered, sleeps well and is very healthy.

I'm very sceptical about the whole "rod for your own back" thing that other people like to throw at you when you're doing things differently to the way they did them / accepted social norms.

Ask them to prove what they're saying or what they're basing their opinion on. Usually IME it's nothing worth worrying about. It's just what they've always done in their family, or what was written in a book by some "expert" who as far as I can fathom has no particular qualifications or experience in research on normal sleep / feeding patterns in infants or similar. All very interesting but not necessarily the best thing for every child.

[GavisconGirl]

Thanks for the comments and support. It's hard to know if what you are doing is right, especially with the first baby! My main worry is using the sling to get her to sleep at night, will we ever get a baby sitter if she doesnt just settle in the cot?? She will go to sleep eventually without it, it just takes a lot more time and effort, normally on my knee while watching tv with a dummy, a sun hat (to block the light ) lots of nose stroking and shushing. And she goes to sleep much later in the evening so I get less sleep. At the moment I'm going to sleep as soon as she does.

[Gargula]

I agree that naps in a sling for a 8 week old are ok, this is what I did for my DD. BUT I had to get her out of the sling at around 5 months as it was driving me absolutely crackers. I was knackered and grumpy when she didn't go straight off and my relationship with my son was being damaged.
The problem with leaving it so long is that she was really against napping anywhere else. She is finally OK in pushchair and car seat after a month but still really resistant to the cot.
I'm glad I did it - as it cemented mine and DD's bond and helped with breastfeeding - but my god it was a hard habit to break.

[beancounting]

I think at this stage the key thing is getting her to sleep at all so that you can both enjoy the times when she's awake and alert and so that she gets used to napping well, rather than worrying about how she's doing it.

It may well become a problem later as Gargula says, but I would personally cross that bridge when you come to it. Will she sleep in the car/pram as well?

My DD is 12 weeks and it feels like we've spent a lot of that time battling to get her to go to sleep - she needs movement or feeding to get her off and seems to go from a bit sleepy to v overtired and screaming banshee in seconds.

Friends have been able to put their babies down in their cots to self-settle practically from birth but it's never worked for us and I've finally stopped stressing about it. Have you come across Dr Sears - www.askdrsears.com? He is a big advocate of "baby wearing" and his advice made me feel better about just going with the flow.

[GavisconGirl]

She sleeps in the car, goes immediately to sleep but won't go to sleep in the pram, she needs to be sleeping first, then she's fine. I don't use the pram much as I live on a second floor flat, and I live in London so don't use the car much either.

How do you break the habit in the end? That's the bit I'm worrying about! Any ideas as to how and when to start trying?

[GavisconGirl]

Oh and thanks bean for that link - I do feel much better! And I've just tried the advice about putting the baby down once in a deep sleep and so far so good, she's still asleep in her basket :-)

[Mumcah]

My DS didn't settle well in his cot for naps until at least 12 weeks.
Sounds like you and your baby are doing really well.

[Gargula]

About breaking the sling habit: I think most of it is down to them growing up, and accepting different situations. So when DD seemed a bit more settled at around 5 months (and she was getting increasing squished in the sling) I just started putting her elsewhere to sleep - mainly the pushchair as I'm out and about loads with DS.
To be honest she's still pretty shocking with her daytime sleep - but nights are improving.
Also, though this may not work for all, she improved loads when I started to put her on her front to sleep (I only did this when I knew she was strong enough to turn over/lift herself up etc etc etc)

[sanfairyann]

sounds like she loves her sling - fantastic. hands free for you and so easy to pop her in and out. dd loved hers too - she's still a cuddle chops but goes to bed fine by herself and has never been difficult at bedtimes (or no more than any other toddler can be)

[SuiGeneris]

I really would not worry. What happens when she wakes up in the night? Does she go back to sleep on her own/in the cot? I second what others have said, she will learn when the time is right for her (which may well be before/after what your in-laws and NCT friends say). In the meantime, you both get to enjoy the closeness of a sleepy baby in the sling, which is, IMO, priceless.

You may want to see if your local library has the Dr Sears book (either the baby book or the sleep book) for more suggestions- mainly on how to answer those critics.

Our experience was that in the beginning DS only napped during the day when being wheeled about in the pram or in the sling (both v good for helping regain my figure and keeping happy). At night, once he'd gone for his long sleep he would self-settle if he woke up (sometimes he v sweetly chatted to himself for a bit before going to sleep, I used to love listening to him). After the early morning feed he went (and goes) back to sleep on his own, sometimes with the dummy, sometimes without.

Around three months he started taking some naps in the cot and over time he has changed sling positions and now mostly wants to face out and see what is going on. I rather miss the lovely feeling of a sleepy baby in the sling, so enjoy it now and don't worry about the old-fashioned lot!

[SuiGeneris]

Sorry- garbled writing above. The Dr Sears books are excellent reads and do not purport to tell you what is right/what you should do. They just offer suggestions and explain how things work (e.g. the biology of newborn sleep, v different from adult sleep, the importance of close physical contact between parent and baby, etc). I much preferred them to the other books that suggest that either you raise your child their way or you will find yourself the mother of a badly behaved terror.

[lucy101]

I don't understand why you would be criticised for this, it just doesn't make sense. Throughout history and in many other cultures in the world this is how most women are probably managing their babies. You and the baby are happy which is all that matters really. I think you are lucky that it is working so well for you.

[porcamiseria]

she is sleeping !!! SO IGNORE EVERYONE and do what works for you

[GavisconGirl]

Thanks for all the messages. One thing I am realising as a new mum is that everyone has an opinion and knows better than you about how to look after your baby!!

I had stopped worrying about her sleeping and was just getting on with what worked, but over the last few days noticed that she was getting sleepy on her own and popping off to sleep very easy in the sling and sometimes on my shoulders, so I've been putti g her down in her basket and leaving her even if that wakes her and she mostly settles herself back to sleep. She is enjoying the sling more for walks and peeping out than sleeping now. So I guess she knew when she was ready to start sleeping more on her own. And one of the posters was right - I am starting to miss her cuddling up in the sling already!

I will look out for dr sears books. I read "what mothers do, especially when it looks like nothing" and that made me feel much better about doing things the way that works for us and ignoring everyone else. It's hard to be confident when you're a new mum who feels clueless!

[AngelDog]

Glad to hear you've made progress. I was just going to add that my DS would only sleep in the sling between 9 and 14 weeks, but after that I could rock him or breastfeed him to sleep.

Waiting till they get older is often the trick to getting many babies to sleep better. :)