Please help. Baby never sleeps...

[NinjaTurtle]

I have a 5 week old DD who doesn't seem to sleep. She probably manages around an hour a day in total, the rest of the time seems to be spent either feeding or screaming for food (she's ff). A typical day consists of getting up between 9 and 10 (although she's generally woken before this time) going downstairs and getting dressed, then she usually wants feeding, then she is alert and playful in her bouncy chair for an hour or so, before she starts becoming restless again.

She seems to prefer to feed little and often, so she might have 2oz, then want the other 2oz half an hour later. After being fed around lunchtime, she tends to be unsettled for most of the afternoon, maybe having a short nap, and obviously being fed in between. She cannot go more than about 2 hours without being fed, unless I'm out with her in the pram.

In the evenings she has been screaming pretty much constantly, although this has improved the last couple of nights. Sometimes she will fall asleep in her bouncy chair at around 7, waking around an hour later for a feed, then another at around 9.30. I usually take her up to bed when I go at 10.30. Sometimes she will sleep from this time until around midnight, others she will want feeding.

Night time is horrendous at the moment. I cannot cope with it. I am on my own during the night, so it is only me getting up. Last night, for example, she wouldn't settle until 2am from going upstairs at 10.30, she wanted to be fed constantly. After going off at 2, she woke at 4.30, went back off after a feed at 5.15, then woke for more milk at 6.30, and she has been awake ever since, alternating between screaming and laid next to me just staring. How can she go this long without sleep? Since yesterday morning she has only slept for a maximum of 5 hours. It is becoming increasingly difficult to cope, I'm left crying in frustration in the early hours, through lack of sleep and not knowing what to do. I have wondered about trying hungry baby formula (she's currently on SMA gold).

On top of this, she is also pretty snuffly at times, and when it gets bad, she struggles to feed, which makes her angry and she screams even more. She also seems to get hiccups at least twice a day, spits up a lot during and after feeds, and up until a couple of days ago, was projectile vomiting generally once a day. She seems to be pretty flatulent too, and occasionally seems to have a bit of constipation. I am seeing the health visitor on Tuesday, but I'm not sure I can cope for that long.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I'm sorry it's so long.

[Sappholit]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

First, do you have someone - friend, mother, etc - who can come over and look after the baby for you in teh day while you catch up on sleep? When I was at the peak of exhaustion from a dd who woke every hour, I should have shouted a bit louder for help, but I didn't because I didn't want people to think I wasn't coping. BUt seriously, ask for help if you can.

Maybe it will help you see the wood from the trees if you can separate the problems you're having into 'normal' and 'not so normal'

For example: hiccups, spitting up, flatulence and projectile vomiting seem normal at first glance.

The lack of sleep doesn't seem normal, not for a newborn. I'm no expert, but when I saw a sleep consultant about my dd who was waking every 20-30 minutes, she said the only reason a baby would do that would be if they were hungry or in pain.

It could be that your baby has reflux. I'm sure the HV will mention that if you speak to her.

Equally, it could just be hunger. I breastfed and my baby cluster fed every evening for two hours - on and off constantly. She still does that sometimes now from 2am-4am. I'm not sure whetehr ff babies do this, too.

Or it could just be that your baby wants to suck. You've probaby tried a dummy already, but maybe have another go at encouraging her to take it if possible.

I do know how hideous sleeplessness is. My dd woke every hour during the night until she was 8 months old. After 4 months, I was beside myself with exhaustion.

Hang in there until Tuesday. I was also on my own in the nights. All I could do in the end was bring my dd into bed with me and let her eat as much as she wanted while I dozed beside her, though this probably wouldn't work for ff baby

Good luck. I'm sure your HV will help

[catherinewho]

My ds was exactly the same at that age I thought it might be reflux so I followed some tips I found on this site including keeping him upright for half an hour after feeds and raising the end of his cot/mosing basket. They really seemed to work and it has eased off a lot lately.

[NinjaTurtle]

Sappholit My mother helps out quite a bit during the day, but doesn't offer to take her for an hour or so to let me get some sleep. She did take her out in the pram at one point, but the weather has been horrid lately, so that hasn't really been possible. My father takes her on a Saturday afternoon for a few hours, so I get a bit of rest then, but I can't seem to switch off and nap in the day, plus with the way she is at the moment, I don't really want to burden anyone else with the crying :(

She was feeding on and off between 10.30 and 2am last night, took about 5oz, but then she ended up screaming and her tummy was hard, so I assume she had trapped wind. I have tried raising the end of her cot and moses basket, it doesn't seem to make much of a difference and I also try to keep her upright after feeds, which maybe helps to stop her getting tummy ache as much, but it doesn't improve her restlessness and inability to settle.

I'm just praying the health visitor will be able to give some good advice which helps the situation, I'm teetering on the brink of insanity here!

[Igglybuff]

ninja I can't remember if I replied on your other thread.

At this age my DS could only manage to stay awake for an hour at a time. Any longer and we'd have nights like yours. So we had to make sure he napped after an hour of being awake. Easiest way was to let him settle on our chest, then we'd sit down with him then swaddle and put him down.

Also he had reflux. Your DD could have this or is reacting to the cow's milk protein in the formula.

Ask your HV to prescribe infant gaviscon and to recommend comfort milks which are easier to digest.

Also get a dummy for after a feed.

Try swaddling as the gentle pressure can help the tummy.

Make sure she gets plenty of naps - get a sling and whoever is looking after her should walk her around (ideally with the dummy). You can do this in bad weather, don't worry.

[NinjaTurtle]

Thanks for the replies. DD has returned from being out with my dad, and she is more snuffly than usual, but is currently sleeping, and has been for around 15 minutes, probably because she is so tired after yesterday. She has also been coughing a bit and appears to be getting a rash on her forehead, she also had a rash on the back of her neck, but that seems to have faded a bit now, so I assume it was a heat rash.

She does have a dummy, it pacifies her for a short time, but not for too long. I have a sling, which she hates being in, I've tried her in it a few times and she screams the entire time. I personally think it is reflux, but my mother keeps saying that it's just colic, but surely this is more than colic?

[Igglybuff]

Colic is just a catch all term for unexplained crying.

My DS has reflux. I came across attitudes that it was a faddy label. However as he got older and his reaction to dairy became more obvious, more believed me. Tell your mum it's like heartburn or indigestion.

Take your little one to the docs to get the rash checked tomo via an emergency appointment. It's probably fine but keep an eye on her, especially temperature. She shouldn't get heat rash in this weather?

Also make a note of the symptoms and suggest reflux. First step is to prescribe gaviscon. There are other meds too.

[Mumcah]

Do you swaddle?I would definitely recommend it as the baby feels secure.

Also maybe a session or two of cranial osteopathy.

Have a look on you Tube for 'Dr Karp'...his techniques really work.

DD cried alot,especially in the evenings and all the above helped.

Also to let you know that babies crying 'peaks' at 6 weeks and after that it does settle down.

[fhutts]

Hi Ninaj
What a nightmare and I was there myself about 6 months ago. From what you say I would agree with igglybuff that it shounds like reflux. Does she squirm a lot? That is the only thing you don't say which was the one other thing my DD did along with everything else you describe.
If you are fortunate enough for your doctor to recognise the symtpoms and not write them off as colic you may want to ask about omaprazale and motilum meds also. You could also ask for a referal to a paedatrician for a pH test to confirm the severity of reflux. Let us know cause there are plenty of us who have been through reflux.
Best of luck. BTW my DD is 8.5 months old and we started slowly weaning her at 5.5 and she gradually dropped milk feeds herself which helped enormously. I promise you it will not last forever, easy I know but just hang in there and every week is a step closer to the phase ending. x

[bippyhippy]

I don't know if this will help but take a read and you might spot some good advice in there:- how much should baby sleep?

It is really hard right now but I can promise you that it gets easier. x

[PaulineCampbellJones]

My DD was exactly the same and it turned out to be reflux. Gaviscon did the trick.
My HV also talked to me about the two hour rule. If a baby is awake for over two hours they will be tired, then get over tired then not sleep. So I used to plonk her in the pram and walk, take a nap with her co sleeping in the afternoon, anything that would calm her and make her nap. If you persist then it will start to work for you.
Hope things improve soon.

[lisajok]

Ninjaturtle ,you poor thing I had a 7 week old just the same .There were 2 things that saved my sanity and my marriage .Being given a copy of Baby Secrets by Jo Tantum and then getting in touch with Jo and getting her to stay with me to see what was wrong and sort it out .By the time Jo had left both me and my baby were sleeping and I had the confidence to carry on and enjoy him .Good luck .

[NinjaTurtle]

She has been better tonight. She was very unsettled earlier, and yes, fhutts , she does squirm when she is held, or when she is put down, she waves her arms around and hits herself by doing jerky movements with them iyswim. However, I then bathed her at around 7pm, which settled her no end, then gave her a couple more ozs and she fell asleep on my chest! For the first time in about a fortnight. Half an hour later she was moved to the moses basket, with a blanket behind he to prop her on her side, and she is still asleep! Hopefully this is a sign of things to come, although it could just be because she's so exhausted after last night.

Igglybuff She does generally seem to be on the warmer side all the time, she has been going to bed in a grobag (2.5 tog) with just a vest underneath, and she feels very warm, yet my room isn't particularly hot, so I shall mention this when I see the doctor/HV

I'm going to insist that it is something other than colic, since neither infacol, gripe water or Dr Brown's bottles have made a difference, hopefully I should get some answers and/or a prescription.

[beancounting]

I really sympathise as I have one of these too - DD is now 11 weeks and it's still a battle to get her to go to sleep, although it's much better than it was. The following is what we're doing - some of it may or may not work for you.

I've found that she starts to get tired about an hour and a half after waking up, although her tired signs aren't as obvious as they might be (which meant that for about the first 6 weeks we didn't realise she was tired, just thought she was grumpy!) - e.g. she starts to get much more vocal with lots of coos and gurgles, and then suddenly the volume will increase and next thing you know she's screaming her head off! She was also feeding a lot which I suspect is partly because she was so tired she wasn't feeding properly.

I'm now trying to get her to have 3 decent naps a day and although it's a bit hit and miss it has improved her night time sleep too - instead of her staying up till about 10 she's now in bed between 7pm and 7am (feeding probably 3 or 4 times in that period).

What I'm doing at the moment is to take her out in the pram at least once a day at a point when I reckon she should be sleepy (without waiting until she gets grizzly as then it can be too late) for at least an hour - she will usually fall asleep after 20 or 30 minutes and have at least half an hour, sometimes if she's sleeping well I stay out as stopping moving can wake her up. Even if she still cries when we're out, it sounds less awful than when we're inside and doesn't get to me as much! If you can get someone else to do this so you can try and get some rest, then even better.

The other things that usually work for us are carrying her round the house in a baby carrier (she didn't like this at first but got used to it, and I found that hoovering while she was in it both soothed her and drowned out the crying! if your DD doesn't like the sling can you borrow some different types to try?) - sometimes when she falls asleep I can detach her gently and put her down to get some rest myself; going out in the car (preferably down a dual carriageway or motorway as she doesn't like it when the movement stops!) and when she falls asleep after a feed just staying put so as not to disturb her. If we do try to put her down then we were advised to wait a good 20 minutes until she was in a deep sleep - apparently they're more likely to wake up from REM sleep which is the first stage. Also having some background noise like the radio means that she might not be woken by every little noise!

Clearly we're going to have to deal with other sleep issues at some point (ie her inability to self-settle and the whole feeding to sleep thing!) but at the moment we're just trying to get her in the habit of sleeping at certain intervals and will deal with how we do it later!

DD is also a hiccupy, windy (often wakes herself straining to do a poo!), sicky baby so I'd be interested to hear whether your HV thinks your DD has reflux as that hasn't been suggested to us as a possibility yet.

Good luck - hope your HV has some useful suggestions!

[narmada]

I really think it sounds like reflux: you poor, poor thing. I have been there and it's awful.

Could you ask your GP for a trial of both gaviscon and either neocate or nutramigen (milks with the proteins altered to make them more digestible)? I don't think the HV will prescribe these but she may be worth getting on your side nevertheless.

Sorry if this is an indelicate question, but could you afford a night nurse for a couple of nights, just to give yourself a break? I seem to remember they are about £80 per night.

If you were near me and I wasn't about to give birth, I would offer to do it for free .

[NinjaTurtle]

beancounting I have been to the doctor today, she agrees that she probably does have a bit of reflux, and has prescribed infant gaviscon and colief, and also advised that I switch to Aptamil Comfort.

The doctor has also suggested perhaps leaving her to cry for a bit, as she may just fall asleep, but I hate listening to her cry, so I'm not sure I like that suggestion!

narmada Thanks for the kind offer, and I guess I could afford one if things got really really awful, but I'm doing ok today, so hopefully things can only get better.

[fhutts]

that is great Ninja, Just as a thought. My DD was prescribed Comfort (Cow and Gate) and when you add the Gaviscon powder to it you may find the milk is rather thick. This is to aid it stay in the stomach. Bear in mind the consistency with the Dr Brown bottles as I found it was too much hard work for her to suck the milk and she ended up falling asleep on the bottle without taking enough. You could try the Avent Bottles with a Variflow teat as this enables feeding without to much effort as the teat has a slot as opposed to a hole.
Just a thought from what we found. The new avent bottles have a ring which goes into the top of the bottle to minimize colic. Found them great.

[fhutts]

Great as in your Dr advised you of something helpful that is, not great that you hate listening to her cry of course!!!!

[NinjaTurtle]

fhutts Yes, I have found that it's much thicker, I bought the level 2 Dr Brown's teats, so hopefully that shall be a little easier, plus they also do Y shaped ones for thicker liquid, so I need to track some down! I also have Tommee Tippee bottles with variflow teats, so I should be ok.

[Igglybuff]

ninja great that you've been helped by the GP. however your little one is too small to leave crying, especially if the reflux is causing pain! I hope things improve for you.

[PaulineCampbellJones]

Great that you have got somewhere with the GP! Keep us posted.

[thebunnies]

Easiest way to buy the y-cut teats is to just go on Amazon. Most shops don't stock them - I live in central London and have trekked around dozens of places with no success. Save yourself the hassle and buy then online. My DS is on Nutramigen + Gaviscon + Carobel and the y-cut teats work really well. You might find them a bit fast to begin with, especially as your LO is so new, so worth having the number 2 and 3 as backup too. Good luck, reflux isn't much fun but it does get lots better (although it never feels like it at the time!). You have done brilliantly to get it diagnosed so quickly, we floundered around for weeks.

[NinjaTurtle]

Just a quick update. She slept from 11.30-3.30, then 4.30-7ish and then napped on and off until 9.30ish! Unfortunately, for whatever reason, I couldnt get off to sleep, so still haven't managed to get much!

[Igglybuff]

Great news - its progress! You'll get the hang of relaxing then sleeping - it takes a while :)

[PaulineCampbellJones]

Great news! The first night my DD slept well I couldn't sleep either as I was too used to listening for movement. It will pass.