I’m 37, with hubby 16 years. Have 1 kid and pregnant with next:
I had ELCS and all was fine. But since I was pregnant the first time I have been unable to have a good orgasm apart from 1 time about a year ago.
The physical spasm thing happens but there’s very dull pleasure.
I have tried to masturbate and got new toys but it doesn’t really help.
My pelvic floor is okay - I’d say 8/10 compared to before. I should do more kegels
My marriage went thru a rocky patch about 1.5 years ago for at least 6 months and our sex life diminished
We were okay again and were having sex one time and I was asking my husband to touch me a certain way (he is a bit heavy handed when using his fingers) .. and he just said ‘are you sure this is what you want to be doing’ - and he meant -
Giving him instructions
It became awkward and he said that he would prefer to have more natural sensual sex
I said that I was struggling to Have a good orgasm - they were very dull (before this i didn’t want to say it or jinx it) and he just said ‘ well my orgasm aren’t the same as they used to be get over it - sex is more about intimacy’... I felt really dismissed and haven’t been willing to discuss it again as I found his attitude to me opening up really disappointing
We did talk the next day a bit and I asked him if his orgasms have dulled when wanking (he wanks A LOT with porn obviously - I go to sleep about 4 hours before him) and he said they’ve always been the same (inference - good)
I’m now currently 10 weeks pregnant and having a really hard time with morning sickness - bed bound kind of thing.
Well - today I had a work crisis and left at 7 in the car - he was WFH (rare) and at about 11am I had to swing by the house to collect something..
When I walk in to the KITCHEN - all I see is porn on the laptop on the kitchen table - massive blow job taking place In our small flat.
Now I’m feeling just a bit put out
I made a huge effort to have sex with him on Saturday night and had the same dull pleasure
I felt it was a bit of a break Thru as it was the 1st time in 10 weeks (so ill!!!) and it was more connected than it’s been in such a long time
So
I’m basically just upset that I’ve lost my ability to orgasm and he’s just constantly wanking and seems to derive more pleasure from that then having sexual with me
I’ve tried to look up online things to do with orgasm but it’s mostly about not having one
I know my vagina spasms and I can feel a release
It’s just the actual pleasure is blocked
Has this happened to anyone?
A ‘phantom orgasm’
And what should I do about it
PS - I love and fancy my husband and vice versa - he is a dual parent in every way and fantastic partner: we have good connection and lots of fun day to day
Thanks for your advice xx
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Phantom Orgasms - any advice?
7 replies
MySuperSecretName · 10/08/2020 20:05
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