Should I tell someone?

(12 Posts)
Hannabee123 Sat 09-Jun-18 00:08:10

Me and my ex have split. There was alot of abuse there still is even now. We're going through court over the child. I've disclosed and proved the abuse but there's one thing I've not told anyone and I'm not sure how to approach it. I find it really difficult to talk about.
Shortly after I have birth I had loads of stitches from tears. He decided to try and finger me. I didn't exactly say no because he suffered from ED and he got hurt if I rejected him but I tried to put him off and he could probably tell it was painful. I ended up swatting him away because I felt like something was wrong. When I stood up the bed and bedding was covered in blood and I hurt really bad. It soaked through to the mattress I was covered. The bleeding lasted a day or two I think the stitches must have become really irritated and gave way. I didn't go to the doctors I was to embarrassed. I didn't talk to anyone because I felt ashamed.
I had to strip all the bedding completely and put a towel on the mattress because it was damp with blood. He told me to get another quilt and he just asked if I was ok casually and then didn't bother. He acted as though nothing had happened and it didn't phase him. I was terrified

I'm working with a domestic abuse worker, Should I just tell her about this because it keeps troubling me? Does this sound like it was okay for him to do? I didn't exactly say no because I was worried but he must have noticed the blood or something while he was doing it?? Please help my head is all over the place

OP’s posts: |
FissionChips Sat 09-Jun-18 00:28:51

Absolutely was not ok for him to do. Please tell your worker, she’ll be able to help you access talking therapy.

I’m sorry that happened to you.

Hannabee123 Sat 09-Jun-18 01:09:59

Thanks i'l try and find a way to approach it next week I might talk to a close friend so she can give me a nudge to talk about it. I feel sick talking about it but I suppose if I tell someone I trust she can give me the support to tell them

OP’s posts: |
Jason118 Sat 09-Jun-18 18:02:07

I'm ashamed and appalled at how some of my fellow men behave. Get help for this and make a better life for yourself. Good luck.

Robin233 Wed 13-Jun-18 08:31:17

Yes tell your therapist.
This was NOT your fault xx

Hecketyheck Wed 13-Jun-18 14:10:30

Hey there. You might be better putting this in the relationships topic rather than sex - you'll get a lot of support there.

Good luck with everything.

Prawnofthepatriarchy Fri 15-Jun-18 20:04:58

Oh, you poor thing. Yes, of course tell. It's a particularly horrific example of sexual abuse. What a piece of shit!

This is not what any decent man would ever do to you. Most new dads are very gentle with their partner's vulva. Very gentle indeed. flowers


Daddystepdaddy Sat 16-Jun-18 08:16:54

What a dickhead!

BettyBaggins Sun 17-Jun-18 13:45:11

What a horrid thing to do to you, and frankly a little odd considering your stitches. Talk to your support about it. So glad to hear you are out. Why do you says abuse continues?

Outnotdown Sun 24-Jun-18 00:08:00

Yes tell her. Just take a deep breath and say "there's something I need to tell you". Get that sentence out and the rest will follow.

Not your fault flowers

Verbena87 Sun 24-Jun-18 21:48:11

If you can’t talk about it just copy and paste your post for her to read. That’s appalling behaviour on his part.

buggedby Wed 27-Jun-18 20:39:51

Please do talk it through with your support either. I work in postnatal care and this is more common than you think sadly. I find it so heartbreaking for so many reasons. Please do get TNT support you need a f we'll done for making the break thanks

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