My H and I are perfectly happy in every way that I can think of, except for the sex department.
As a parents and partners we work really well as a team, are on the same page, have similar expectations and are loving, kind and generous to each other. It's exactly the kind of marriage that I hoped for in terms of our day to day lives. But we don't get it on enough for my taste.
We've talked about it plenty, we try for a while, it perks up and then wanes. I have been in this position before and have been open and honest. But we don't maintain the regularity of it.
Other intimacies carry on. We kiss plenty, hug, hold hands, physically touch each other as we pass, it's just that final thing.
If I push it we will do it, but it's about the least sexy thing in the world for me feeling that I have to practically beg for sex, so by the time we get round to it I'm irritated and feeling turned off. I take care of things solo regularly to keep me ticking along, but obviously I'd infinitely prefer my husband to be involved.
He's been like this for a while now. I think (know) he fancies me it's just that sex isn't high on his agenda. I am perfectly happy to compromise and as much as I would love it two or three times a week I would be fine with once to twice a month, but I need a connection as part of my broader relationship.
We have a 4 year old and 1 year old which I know has an impact but frankly we are past it preventing anything happening.
I'd like some excitement and spice back in that part of my life and know I will need into this gently for him. Without outing myself he has good reason for having some fairly strong emotions regarding sex as a result of some particularly horrific things that happened to one of his family members. But he will not deal with it and insists it's not an issue. I obviously disagree.
Any tips and advice? Do I just need to get over my dislike of initiating and accept that that has to be part of it if I want it? Or what?
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I need more he's not so fussed
19 replies
NCToDiscussSex · 21/01/2016 11:57
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