advice needed

[beepbeep123]

my dd is in year 7 and is having problems with 3 boys in her class. They're disruptive in class and give a lot of the children a hard time. They followed her home on Friday and threw things at her, they call her names and today got hold of her bag and took things out and threw them round. they also took money out of her purse, she told the teacher and he confronted them but they denied it. the teacher said he would give her some money tomorrow. (we thought they should have been sent to the head). Anyway she does not want us to complain but we are livid and upset that she has to put upwith this .
what shall we do?

[Heated]

How nasty. Yes, see the head, it should guarantee action is taken. Your poor dd is probably worried about repercussions so the school should also give practical advice about what to do. The quicker these horrible children are dealt with, the better for all concerned.

[missmem]

You must see the Head and if nothing is done you must contact the police as this is minor assault and theft. I would mention this to the Head and I'm sure he'she'll will do something if you are threatening some sort of legal action.

I do not have daughters but this must be exceptionally worrying for you and I really feel for you.

[feralgirl]

IME secondary heads don't often deal personally on a day to day basis with anything except the absolute worst behaviour and, although this is bullying and is truly horrible, it's probably not the sort of thing a class teacher would tell the head of the school about.

It's difficult as a teacher if you haven't seen an incident actually happen so I have some sympathy with the teacher involved as we aways have to adopt an innocent until proven guilty approach. However if it was me (and I am a secondary teacher) I would have escalated this by informing the Head of Year as the more bits of ammo the school has against a bully, the less able their parents are to deny it.

I think that you should definitely tell your DD's form tutor and her Head of Year (who are responsible for her pastoral support). I would phone and ask them to call you or, better, arrange a meeting with you. If they don't contact you then write to the head and the governers.

Schools have a legal responsibility to deal with bullies - which you could tell DD - and also she needs to know that she's helping all her fellow pupils by blowing the whistle.

Please tell the school. They probably want to please you and keep you on-side and, chances are, will do whatever you ask (e.g. keep things anonymous and protect DD's identity when dealing with the little sods!)

[feralgirl]

Oops, sorry.
Just saw that they stole money from your DD. That makes it a bit different as, like missmem said, it's criminal behaviour. I agree, go to the head and if it's not sorted, write to the governers and get the police involved.

[hamstring]

thanks for messages. Igot in touch with the pastoral head?????? for her year.I explained how upset we were.I asked if the boys could be split up and she said she can not make that decision.She said first she had to speak to dd. dd got home and said she had been asked to write about all incidences that had taken place and some other children in the form had to do the same.The teachwer also gave her her money back as they are not allowed to search children. Iam going to ring school on Monday to see what action they are going to take
thanks for answering