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To change schools in Y9 or not? Please help!

(16 Posts)
Indicisive88 Sat 08-Sep-18 17:38:54

I’m in a terrible state of indicision about whether to move my 13 year old DD who has just gone into year 9. She started arnoue local achiol in y7 and has been very up and down there feeling like she doesn’t really fit in. Things seem to settle and hen she is back to being quite unhappy. It’s a combination of friends issues and just not really liking the school that much. It’s been made worst by 3 of the more positive friends leaving at end of year 8. I made a couple of calls last week about moving her and there is a place at another school. She is quite keen but I’m so worried that it’s taking a huge risk and things could be even more difficult starting all over again in a new school. But then I don’t want to look back and think I really should have moved her as things never really got much better....
Does anyone have any advice about moving schools at this stage?

OP’s posts: |
GreenTulips Sat 08-Sep-18 17:41:13

She has 3 years left
That if a long time for a teen
One day of being unhappy is one too many.

Many schools now start GCSE in the summer term of year 9 so now is the time to make a decision

Ask DD to go and look round the new school and get a vibe for the place.

Go from there

(I live one in similar circumstances - life's too short)

BarbarianMum Sat 08-Sep-18 17:49:52

I agree. If shes keen go look, ask some questions and, if she's still keen, go for it. Y9 is a good time to move, Y10 not so much.

OnwardMarch Sat 08-Sep-18 17:53:55

Please go and look round the other school with your DD. This could be the beginning of a great school life for her.

OnwardMarch Sat 08-Sep-18 17:54:59

Just to add, this may be the last chance she has to change schools, because after yr 9 comes GCSE prep and you dont want to disrupt her studies then.

Downeyhouse Sat 08-Sep-18 17:58:23

We moved ds 1/2 way through Year 9.

Glad we did it then and not at the beginning of year 10.

It has been fine. He has adapted really well to a VERY different type of school. And is thriving.

AuntieStella Sat 08-Sep-18 17:59:49

Better to move now, because GCSE options are looming and it wouid be much more disruptive educationally if you leave it.

Have younreally talked through with her the pros and cons of moving? Because if you have and she does want to move and has a good grasps of what it rreally means; and of course the destination school is OK, them I think I'd go for it. Because a happier teen is worth it in itself.

JessicaJonesJacket Sat 08-Sep-18 18:04:12

I agree with PPs. Take her to look round the new school. My nephew changed schools at a similar age and it was transformative for him. He loved it. My DSIS always says she wishes she'd moved him sooner.

HermioneGoesBackHome Sat 08-Sep-18 18:04:15

Ive just moved my two teens this September. One in Y9, the other in Y10.
Best thing I’ve ever done because the new school ‘fits’ them. The difference in behaviour (from them) is already visible!

Imo Y9 is a good time to move her.
Start of Y10 is a bit harder as they might have started to work on their GCSE and done different things in the two schools.
So really it’s mov8ng now (latest at the end of the year) or not until after her GCSE.

If she is that unhappy, go for it!

Slidyslide Sat 08-Sep-18 18:04:59

We moved dd after Christmas of year 9. Definitely the best decision.

Indicisive88 Sat 08-Sep-18 18:05:05

Thanks is much all. Yes I think the reason I’m panicking is that this is our last chance to move and we will have to do it soon. Good idea to take her along. She saw it when we were applying in y6. It’s very different- single sex, much smaller and private.... they have a place and keen to have her.. bur things worrying me is that it’s Further away and the finances and worrying about her fitting in there...

OP’s posts: |
TeenTimesTwo Sat 08-Sep-18 19:00:44

I guess for me it would be whether you really think she will be happier there, or will the difficulties follow her?

My DD1 didn't enjoy secondary in various ways, but the bottom line was that it was due to her social skills (or lack of them), it wouldn't have been any better elsewhere, and probably worse as school we chose had good pastoral care.

Ohyesiam Sat 08-Sep-18 19:20:29

If she were in a part of the country where they have a middle school system she would be at a new school for year 9 anyway, so maybe it wouldn’t be too disruptive.

greencatbluecat Sun 09-Sep-18 14:33:04

Being happy at school is so key to future success. Take a good look at the other school with your DD and take it from there.

FairyPenguin Sun 09-Sep-18 14:46:43

Private schools usually let you have a taster day, sometimes it’s part of their assessment of the child. Would definitely recommend. My DD did a taster day having been unsure about the school then came home raving about it and couldn’t wait to go there. It’s just doing a normal day that she’d be doing if she were there, all the classes etc. My DS did one too and he did most of a normal day but they took him out of a couple of lessons to do some online testing as well.

FairyPenguin Sun 09-Sep-18 14:48:26

PS that should allay her worries about fitting in as they would try to buddy her up with 1 or 2 pupils similar to her (they should ask you what she’s interested in, etc). You could also have a chat to the admissions person about any other worries you have.

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