All looking for some help and guidance please.
We are a family of 5, close I'd say with lots of
Wider family around and with two boys and a girl.
My daughter started high school having come from primary with no behaviour issues or social problems and finished off with a good score on her sats and got her first choice school which at the time was the best performing school in the area.
We started having problems towards the end of year 7. Little meltdowns here and there which out of nowhere was accompanied with her writing a diary which she left out saying how much she hates us and full of the modern language of teen life today. Sat her down and spoke to her and she said she was finding it hard to fit in which I accepted and told her to keep this open and talk about what was going on at all times and that we are family and always there for her.
Carried on with yo-yo type behaviour and the start of year 8 was very unsettled but managed to settle in until a phone call from school about her continued disruptive behaviour, childish chatter, arguing with other kids.. staff.. and refusal to do her work. We agreed to put her on report and this lasted a week and again things picked up.
Things have again gone up and down. We had a family holiday which I thought she enjoyed, made an effort but when we got back noticed her staying in her bedroom more and more. Fighting with her two younger brothers, homework standard dropping and bad behaviour points increasing.
Afound this time, she also started asking around smoking and vaping.. could see it coming. Cutting the hedges back, found an empty pack of cigarettes and knew straight away it was her. Held back from confronting her about it... until she again picked up more bad behaviour points and when confronted I found little holes in sofa which were ash burns. Asked her straight away and she started crying and promised she had stopped. We talked a lot about it and she said it was tough and she's trying to be good but. She as spotted coming back from out of bounds near where the smokers hang out and denied that at first but we got there in the end.
Anyway, a month later, we have a bad month and the school puts her on report. Noticed as of late she's becoming more detracted from us and spends very little time sat with us as a family and if we do go out together she's always arguing and clearly expressing her not wanting to be there.
School said while academically she's found good, she's still making poor behaviour choices and I've had conversations before with her and the school about moving her.
My wife found a lighter on her bed again last night.. this is after she's again been put onto report and she's said it's not hers and her friends and she's not aware of the smoking... I've kept that from her. She comes home from school always moody... has a few running problems with some kids.. and I'm genuinely concerned at loosing her to some of the more unruly kids there as she is showing continued signs of this.
She's incredibly naive.. just wants to fit in but I'm scared about her making wrong choices... the school said she does move from group to group but I think the problem is the school itself as it has large problems with social media and having kids engage in a manner that's acceptable... they are all about snapchat and gangster life even though the school is in an affluent area and has performed well historically and recently.
I'm in the middle of writing an email to her school with the view of moving her and my disappointment and concern about her and the person she's becoming while at achool.
I've again confiscated her phone, and I am going to ask her today to unlock it and read though her messages, is this wise? She's been phoning people or vice Versa late at night and I need to know she's out of harms way.. she's asked how far Nottingham is which again has raised alarm
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Secondary education
Yr 8 dilemma... daughter still not settled and misbehaving
13 replies
xrossroads · 14/07/2018 09:25
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Soursprout ·
14/07/2018 10:39
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Soursprout ·
14/07/2018 10:43
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Soursprout ·
14/07/2018 12:26
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