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Secondary School

(9 Posts)
user1474629192 Fri 23-Sep-16 12:35:12

My son has just started secondary school and is worrying over the homework, despite me reassuring him and helping as much as he will let me, now that he is "grown up" and able to do these things himself!

Does anyone have any recommendations for good books or tips to help, I am worried as hell over it!


BertrandRussell Fri 23-Sep-16 12:37:12

What sort of "worrying?" Content, quantity?

Lifeisshort123 Fri 23-Sep-16 12:37:58

Is there a homework club he could join to help him?

user1474629192 Fri 23-Sep-16 12:39:48

Today he texted me to say he is feeling unwell. I got him to go and see the school receptionist and she called after and said that he was worried about his homework. I don't want him to hide things from me and am really encouraging but not pushy. Where is the line? This is the first time its happened but want to nip this in the bud today.

Heirhelp Fri 23-Sep-16 12:43:34

I would ask him what it is specifically that is worrying him, the difficulty, the amount, specific subjects or forgoting his homework and then you can work on strategies together. It might be worth asking his form tutor to have a word with him.

Reeeba Fri 23-Sep-16 12:45:28

Thanks everyone - appreciate the advice. Im new to the site to excuse the profile name change and inability to work it properly, as yet! Thanks again

Badbadbunny Fri 23-Sep-16 12:52:06

What is he worried about? Is it too hard for him? Is he forgetting what he needs to do or when it needs to be done? If you're more specific, people can help.

With my son, we had all these issues. He was constantly disorganised, getting stressed because it was too hard, etc. After a couple of weeks of one disaster after another, we took over. We managed him in terms of telling him what to do and when. We also virtually did his homework for him, dictated answers, read the text books with him and googled with him, sat and revised for tests with him. Yes, I know you're not supposed to do that, but for us it was the only way to avoid meltdowns and him still being up at midnight doing homework he'd forgotten about!

Over time, we eased off as he got into good habits. First the management part, as we withdrew and let him make his own decisions about what needed doing and when. Then for some subjects which he was doing well in, we let him do it fully himself. Other problematic subjects still needed our input. At the end of year 7, we did a revision timetable for him for his end of year tests and he followed it and did well.

At the start of year 8, we "hovered" over his homework for a few weeks just to make sure he carried on from where he left off, but soon could leave him to it. Now he's in year 10 and he's fully independent and controls his own schedule. We still need to prod him occasionally to actually turn off the IPAD/Xbox and get on with it, but we certainly don't need to manage what he does or when he does it.

For him (and us), micro-management at first, with us pulling back steadily over the first year worked very well and the good habits he learned have stayed with him.

Heirhelp Fri 23-Sep-16 13:04:28

I am a secondary teacher and I agree that some children need a high level of support to complete homework and with organisation. Is he worried that he is not allowed help now?

Reeeba Fri 23-Sep-16 13:59:16

thanks, I think he is desperate for independence but not ready so I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. He wants my help but doesn't. P

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