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Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Secondary education

How DC dosent have to say what his last school was. Tips Please!

15 replies

worriedmother7787 · 31/08/2015 22:22

So if you have read my threads before you will know we have been in the process of moving one of our sons out of a horrible private school (funded place through council!) back into state systemn. We have been (I think) successful, as we have had to move back in with my mother we wanted him to go to local state school (has places) Phoned council up and they said that would be fine but it know has to go through school inset days start on wednesday school on friday personally i don't think the place will be processed in time and he will have to stay at home for a bit (going into year 10) But i am asking help from you on a concern of his. As he was at a private school he dosent want to get picked on for this as coming from/being at a private school is really frowned apon in the school he's going at (knows about 7 people in the school already) How does he go about not saying what school he's come from as people know him (the people have promised not to say what school he's from) Thanks for you're help!
PS I hope all you're DC are ready for the new year!

OP posts:

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slicedfinger · 31/08/2015 22:24

How about just saying he was home educated?

patterkiller · 31/08/2015 22:30

How about saying he has just moved true and that they probably wouldn't know the old school. Dd has mentioned a couple of new starters, when I asked where they had come from she shrugged, not interested.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 31/08/2015 22:34

The chances of 7 teenagers keeping their word and not letting the cat out of the bag are remote.

My best advice is to be truthful and brazen it out. If anyone does take the piss have him think of some come backs.

Or maybe if they ask him which school he can just say "a shit one" and move the conversation along quickly.

errorofjudgement · 31/08/2015 22:37

Or say you came from school X, but then say it was rubbish, he really hated it and was so glad he was finally able to move and come to the present school because it's so much better
My DD has had 2 friends last year both move from what are (supposedly) better schools to another local school, and both have reported they had no problems. But they did 'big' up the new school

this was into year 9 btw

Haffdonga · 31/08/2015 22:38

If he knows 7 people in the school already he's not going to be able to hide where he went. Best not to lie. He'd be far better to not mention it unless asked. If asked be vague ( I went to a school in X town ) and if pressed tell the truth but with the disclaimer that he wasn't happy there. ( I went to St Poshingtons but it was shit so I prefer it here )

Tell him not to worry. It wont be big news unless he acts like he's better than them or talks about how many tennis courts his old school had.

BabyGanoush · 31/08/2015 22:43

People who are chippy about private schools LOVE hearing a private school being dissed.

So just say: a crap private school, thank God I am out.

My DS made the private-state transition successfully, he says most people don't care.

XCChamps · 31/08/2015 22:46

I agree with others, there's no way this will stay secret so better to have a few comebacks in case anyone does want to make an issue of it. More likely that no-one will care though.

BackInTheRealWorld · 31/08/2015 22:49

He could say he was excluded for beating near to death some people that picked on him?
He might not get picked on that way. For anything. Ever.

NewLife4Me · 31/08/2015 22:53

Tell the truth but big up his new school and how happy he is not to be with the jumped up lot/ whatever he found lot at the private school.
Not saying they are jumped up, just giving an example.

worriedmother7787 · 31/08/2015 23:24

Thanks that really help! WhoTheFuckIsSimon i especially like you're answer! I can't see why kids can't just get on with it

OP posts:

Millymollymama · 01/09/2015 10:31

The reason kids do not just get on with it is because they are conditioned to have anti-private school views by their parents! Plenty of views are expressed on MN that are like this and I am sure children pick this up when it a strongly held parental view.

You obviously thought a private school was better at one stage! However, why would these children even know the name of the school? (Unless it is Eton of course). Just name the school, or the town where it is, and then it will be the end of the conversation because most kids really will never have heard of it or only be vaguely aware of it. If your DC draws attention to the differences, then that may be more problematic. However, that would happen if he had come from another state school. Also, you did not pay the fees, so presumably you are just like the majority of people in the country who cannot afford private school fees so you and your DC are not different from the majority and he will fit into this school. I assume you are not dropping him off in your new Bentley. It really will not be an issue if he keeps his answers and comments to a minimum.

BrendaFlange · 02/09/2015 16:13

I really would not encourage him to hide it, especially as others know - why should they be drawn into telling lies? That isn't very ethical, really.

A bit of drama and chutzpah - 'a shit one' or if he names it some slightly exaggerated tales of how awful it was (not for being private, but for being awful in the ways he considered it awful). 'OMG I couldn't wait to get out of there' etc.

But hopefully he can also have the confidence to voice his opinions about any good aspects about the school or challenge any myths.

Helpmeoutofthemaze · 02/09/2015 16:24

"I went to this really shit private school which the council paid for and made me go to. I'm glad to be out of there."

LynetteScavo · 02/09/2015 16:34

I would tell him to say "One even shittier than this". Unless a teacher asks him in front of the class and then "Somewhere very far away" or just lying and then coming clean when no other kids are around.

At the secondary I went to the kids who had been to private primaries were given a really, really hard time, so the less he says the better IMO.

BrendaFlange · 02/09/2015 17:11

It's a fine line.

I wouldn't be encouraging him to slag off pupils at his previous school solely on grounds that they have their fees paid for by the decision-making adults in their lives - mindless prejudice is not good in any context.

What he needs to avoid is anything of the slightest hint that he was in any way superior because he got his fees paid for, or because he attended a private school, or that the current school is a come-down in any way.

As it sounds as if (for whatever reason, haven't read your other threads) he will be relieved to be in the new school and happier, he is unlikely to fall into this trap.

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