Secondary places-game change nightmare!

[sparklingsky]

Help appreciated! This has probably been done to death but feeling unusually stressed. Any words of wisdom/kindness appreciated. We're waiting for a place at our first preference school. Didn't get any of the three preferences. DD is the only child in her class offered the local 'failing school'. We're number 4 on the waiting list of our first preference. How will we find out if we get offered something? And how often is it reasonable to phone the school? DP and I are both feeling worn down by the whole process. We have an early appeal date. DD is miserable and has begged me not to send her to the failing school. Trying to not be at all negative while listening to her (v v accurate and reasonable) views. Lots of truancy - apparently to avoid bullies. No idea what to write on appeal forms.

[titchy]

Number 4 sounds reasonable. There will be a lot of movement in the next week or so as deadlines for acceptances pass and places get rejected. You could ask the school, or LEA, typically how many waiting list offers they tend to make which might give you an idea how realistic an offer is.

[prh47bridge]

You will receive an offer letter, either via email or in the post - possibly both. It is possible you will receive a phone call in advance of the letter.

Phoning the school won't make any difference to your chances of getting a place.

For your appeal you need to focus on why this is the right school for your daughter. Avoid being negative about the offered school. Concentrate on the things your preferred school can offer her that are particularly relevant to her. An example of the kind of thing the appeal panel is looking for would be if your daughter is good at music and your preferred school has lots of extracurricular musical activities but the offered school doesn't.

[sparklingsky]

Many thanks for your answers and tips. There are parents who have state school and independent school places, but no-one seems in a hurry to give them up...horrid, horrid waiting.