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Secondary education

Pushy Parents at School

11 replies

iom2000 · 11/06/2014 15:18

We have a family that constantly manages to get her child to the front of anything, by calling the school. Any suggestions as to what to do, as there is no 'proof'.
What can you say to the school?
When there is not any fair reason it is driving me crazy!!

OP posts:
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jeee · 11/06/2014 15:24

If the school responds to constantly calling the school, you could try this approach. If your child 'goes to the front', you will know your suspicions are correct.

If your child doesn't go to the front, you may have to consider the possibility that the child 'goes to the front' for other reasons.

Or you may decide that it's because dad's on the board of governors/mum's sleeping with the head/uncle is chief ofsted inspector (delete as appropriate).

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m0therofdragons · 11/06/2014 15:25

To the front of what? I can't imagine what you can mean. I work in a school and no child would be chosen for anything based on a phone call.

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titchy · 11/06/2014 16:12

Maybe her surname's Aadvark....

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Luggagecarousel · 11/06/2014 20:21

I don't understand either, get to the front of what? How does a phone call affect how one child is treated in comparison to another?

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happygardening · 11/06/2014 21:07

IME this is just life, the were two children at my DS's prep who were always the first to be picked for everything and won all the prizes even when others had done better. It was a running joke amongst all the other parents as at times choosing these two was just plain ridiculous! There's nothing you can do if you complain to the head it will just look like sour grapes, just accept it. Does it really matter that much? I personally don't think so.

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HPparent · 11/06/2014 21:15

There is a cult of favouritism as one of my childrens' school. There is a continuous group of a dozen or so golden children who win all the prizes, get picked for things etc. I don't use the word "cult" lightly, they have their pictures put up in school, in the prospectus, their work is displayed in the school mailshots, they are praised in assembly etc. It used to annoy me but now I don't give a toss. I just make sure that my kids get the opportunity to shine at things outside school.

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Luggagecarousel · 11/06/2014 21:43

I just cannot see, how, where or when, in the average workings of the average school there could possibly be the time or the space for a "cult of favouritism"

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Teapot74 · 11/06/2014 21:46

There are families in our school that "shout loudest". No question that it has an impact. I've had enough too but am not prepared to play the game :( sympathies is all I can say.

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happygardening · 11/06/2014 21:54

Luggage I've only really experienced it at a tiny prep school not a senior schools. For all I know it goes on there as well but as we are barely involved in school life and the schools are so much larger if it's going on (although some how I doubt it) it's just not so obvious.

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HPparent · 12/06/2014 12:15

Luggage - I am not the only parent saying it. The school is notorious for it! It has been mentioned on these forums, in local blogs and even the press.

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MillyMollyMama · 12/06/2014 16:08

It happened all the time at my DDs senior girls' boarding school. There were clearly premier parents with premier children. They were invited to special dinners, their children won prizes every year. In year 13, one of them received 7 prizes! It began to be a big problem because it was so obviously unfair, and it was very clear to other parents and girls alike. The parents were usually something big in the city, or had very good connections that the school could use and, absolutely vital, had squillions in the bank! Even if you don't go into school yourself, your children will able to tell you who they are. They will be in the favoured House, get more pastoral care than everyone else put together, and always be a goody two shoes with no original thoughts of their own.

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