Help me word an email to DD's year 8 teacher, or maybe tell me not to write it!

[sandyballs]

DD did not have a very good start to secondary school, she mucked around last year, got far too many detentions and didn't try very hard. Basically pissed a few teachers off, which I completely understand from their point of view. DD was basically more interested in fitting in and being popular with her peers, than doing any work and keeping her head down.

Year 8 has been better thankfully, better results and very few detentions. The only lesson she has had negative feedback from is Spanish. Her Spanish teacher has regularly emailed me to inform me that DD had forgot her book, or her pen, or had been chatting. I always emailed back, supporting her, saying I would talk to DD etc.

Now DD has been saying that she has improved her behaviour enormously in Spanish, remembers her stuff, doesn't talk, is really trying to turn this around yet she believes her teacher isn't willing to give her another chance. DD says she ignores her when she puts her hand up to answer questions, comes down on her really hard about her written work or oral work, compared to others, can barely bring herself to say hello to her when she sees her. Basically acts like she can't stand her.

I know DD has been a pain but I think it's pretty unprofessional to carry on like this and I do believe DD - she hasn't ever complained about a teacher before, she's not one of these girls that moans about teachers 'hating' her like some teens are prone to. She has asked me several times to email the teacher during half term to try and get this resolved.

How on earth do I word an email like that without coming across as 'one of those mothers'!!

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

Keep it very short and simple, I think - say that you have been pleased to see that DD is working harder and getting better results and ask what more she could do, to maintain momentum? That then opens up a conversation and gives you an opportunity (as appropriate) to raise issues about the teacher's attitude.

[Nojustalurker]

As a teacher I think it's very unlikely your child's teacher has the time or energy to treat your child badly never mind the wish to make her life more difficult by not trying to win her over. I suspect your child is taking things personally which are not ment to be against her.

To be tactful I would suggest you email teacher saying your child wants to improve in Spanish but thinks the teacher won't be willing to give her a second chance and ask if you and your child can meet with the teacher to dicuss how to move forwards.

[sandyballs]

Short and simple sounds good but I'm still struggling to raise issues about her attitude! Just awkward isn't it. I suppose face to face would be even worse.

I don't think it does take time and energy to treat her badly, it's just indifference from what DD has said. I agree should could be taking things personally when it isn't meant but I need to find out somehow. I'm always on the side of the teachers for most matters but I feel for DD in this instance and want her to see me sorting it out, as she is making so much more effort at school.

[Leeds2]

Any chance that you have a Parents' Evening coming up, when you could discuss it?

Or is there another Y8 Spanish class going on at the same time, so that your DD could possibly switch classes?

[MrsSquirrel]

There are 2 sides to the story. You have not been in the classroom and have only heard about dd's perception of teacher's attitude. You don't know that the teacher has behaved unprofessionally.

It would be difficult to send a constructive email to the teacher about her attitude. (I'm not a teacher, but if somebody send me an email along those lines it would just put my back up.) It would be better to send a positive email asking for the 3 of you to meet to discuss a way forward, along the lines that Nojustalurker suggests.

If you have the meeting, DD will see you supporting her and trying to sort things out, so that should make her feel better. Then you can decide for yourself whether the teacher has a thing about dd, it is just a misunderstanding, or a bit of both.

[AtiaoftheJulii]

How about something along the lines of you haven't heard any complaints from her lately, and dd tells you that she's been making more effort in Spanish these days, and could the teacher just confirm that there's been an improvement and what else could dd work on.

Might just be enough to remind her that your dd is doing better and to break what sounds like a habit re the way she regards your dd.

[3nationsfamily]

These things are always better dealt with face to face as otherwise it can spiral into a "he said she said" situation. Approach it with a positive attitude and ensure your DD does the same and hopefully you can all move forward to a positive learning experience.

[SofiaAmes]

Your daughter is old enough to be sorting her own issues out. Give her some guidance and suggestions on how to approach it and let her do her own talking to the teacher.

[HSMMaCM]

I was also wondering if your DD could deal with it. Maybe apologising for her bad behaviour in the past, assuring the teacher she is now keen to learn and asking what she needs to do?