Day pupil at Independent Secondary Boarding school

[JOJOHNSON23]

Hi there,

Do you any of you have children at an independent secondary school which offers both day and boarding facilities?

I do not want my DD to board as we live fairly locally and I would miss her!

However, my husband, who was a full boarder, is of the opinion that day children get teased and bullied by the full time boarders!

Does anyone have any experience of this or any reassurance?

Thanks!

[trinity0097]

What is the proportion of boarders and day pupils.

Many schools now offer flexi boarding, whereby they can board one or two nights a week, perhaps this could be a compromise for you and hubby?

[diabolo]

We are doing this for DS in September, but the split is 50/50 between boarding and day, so I it's not like a day pupil will stand out.

I imagine it would be tough if you were in a very small minority of day pupils, but only from the point of view that your DD will probably want to join in with her friends in all of the out-of-hours activities on an evening and weekend, instead of coming home.

[Leeds2]

My DD is a day pupil at a boarding school. The split was about 50:50 in Year 7, with a higher percentage of boarders from Year 9. her being a day girl has never been a problem, and her circle of friends include both boarders and day girls. I imagine it might be different if boarders were a big majority.

[BooksandaCuppa]

Yes, find out the ratio/mix.

I would imagine it highly unlikely that children would be mean to each other based on whether they board or not (though they might well about other things) but it's likely to be more difficult to make friends if the vast majority board.

Ds is a day pupil and has a mix of friends - on the days he gets dropped at school early, he has breakfast with the boarders. Some of the choristers board and some don't...I think they all mix in together.

[happygardening]

I'm not sure day children necessarily get teased (what causes a child to be teased over another one is much more complicated than) but I do think day children can be on the edge when it comes to friendships groups etc. My DS was telling me that it is at bedtime in the dorm that friendships are made or not.
The others are correct it very much depends on the numbers. In my now very extensive experience of boarding schools it doesn't really matter what you do as long as you do what the majority do.

[3nationsfamily]

My DS is a day pupil at a school where in yr 7 and 8 boarders are about 30% but the balance switches from yr 9 onwards where boarders are about 70%. He is in school from 8am until at least 7.15pm and often until later, as well as Saturdays for school and/or rugby and Sunday mornings once a month for Chapel. So he is really only at home to sleep so there is little difference between his day and the boarders' day. As they get older the day gets longer and if they are involved in music/ drama then rehearsals go on later too. We have had no problem with the mix, in fact what tends to happen is that as they get older they want to board so they get "hanging out" time with their friends after the long day of activities. We live within walking distance so this is not practical for us, but we do make sure he takes some of the boarders home for sleepover/ Sunday lunch every now and again, which is a treat for them and cements the friendship bonds between them.

[SandStorm]

DD is a day pupil at a school like you describe but there are far more day students than boarders and there has never, ever been an issue. Her only complaint (which I think is an advantage) is that school never closes due to snow etc as there are always staff on site.

[elastamum]

DS1 is a day pupil at a school where over 80% board. He gets to school for breakfast at 7.40am and leaves at 9pm. He has his own study in the house at school and shares with some boarders. He loves it, he gets all the benefits of the school and can go home and do what he likes outside of hours. He plays a lot of sport in the evenings and he never brings any work home.

We only live 2 miles away, so it is an easy trip out for me to pick him up at night. He isnt bullied or excluded from anything and he can join in any boarding activities he wants to. He says he might board in the 6th form but at the moment he has the best of all worlds.

[schoolchauffeur]

I think the key to how successful being a day pupil is in a school which is predominantly boarding is how the school integrates the day pupils. My DS is currently a full boarder and has 1 very good friend in his house who is a day pupil. DS himself will be a day pupil from next term and he says as far as he can see the day boys are still seen as "part of the gang". He keeps his desk in shared study/dorm, bed set up, posters etc. He can sleep at school for events, when there are late trips back, or even just if he fancies it up to a certain number of nights a term. He can go to any social event he wants, and must stay late ( until 9) every Wednesday. His school has about 10% boarders but does make a really concerted effort to integrate them with everyone else!

[JOJOHNSON23]

Excellent and very helpful and informative replies one and all, many thanks!

Now, are any of you talking about secondary schools in Wiltshire perchance?

*hopeful!

:)

[austenozzy]

I was a day pupil at a large London private school where about 15% (at a guess) were boarders. Never made the tiniest difference. I can't recall it ever being an issue at all.