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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Just need to let off steam on here

16 replies

lilacclaire · 09/11/2009 09:47

so I can manage to keep my mouth shut in real life......

The only reason now that i havent kicked (d)p out is our debts, if I put my mind to it they will be paid off by the summer, I honestly cannot manage to pay them all off on my own and be able to feed my ds.

He is in line for a good promotion by then so I won't need to worry about him either.

Any tips how to stop me blowing my top with him other than coming on here and ranting (feeling more calm already).

Cant be bothered going back into the whys, it has been on previous threads, nothing changes.

OP posts:

Report

AnyFucker · 09/11/2009 09:50

valium ?

sparkybabe · 09/11/2009 09:55

Stay away from him? Go upstairs when he's down, watch tv when he's upstairs. Have looooooooong baths. SPend ages in Tescos.

gonnabehappy · 09/11/2009 09:56

"Any tips how to stop me blowing my top with him other than coming on here and ranting (feeling more calm already)."

Get a dog and walk it in the woods! Sorry may not be practical but is my top tip!

AnyFucker · 09/11/2009 09:56

live in the shed ?

sorry, is this helping ?

lilacclaire · 09/11/2009 09:59

Lol, yes its helping, don't want a dog but long baths and tesco's may be the answer.
Valium would be good also, perhaps a lobotomy for the next 6 months.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 09/11/2009 10:05

get another part-time job

double win !

you are out of his company more, and the debts get paid off quicker

better still, get him another job

duke748 · 09/11/2009 10:08

Secretly plan your escape. Look on RightMove for the type of place that would suit you DS if you plan to move out. Imagine what new and exciting things you and DS can do together.

Make an Excel spreadsheet to count down the debt. Look on the forum on MoneySavingExpert for tips and ideas on how to get rid of the debt quicker. Take on a part time job to make more money and get rid of debt sooner. Go to the library and learn more about a subject that interests you/that you can use to help your DS/that you can use to make more money in the future.

Sort through paperwork, get rid of old clothes, DVDs etc so that when you do go its all that bit easier. You can do a 'spring clean' and sort out things. It wouldn't look suspicious, and you would be doing something constructive towards moving you closer to where you want to be.

I know if it was me I would try these types of things to keep my mind occupied and moving towards my ultimate goal.

Good luck!

lilacclaire · 09/11/2009 10:16

I could do another shift at my work, I currently do a 24hr once a week and thats it, I could make it 2 while he's still here.

Its like that just now as ds has just started school and I want to be there for him (only 4).

I wouldn't be moving, council house in my name only and i've put everything into it to make it a 'home'.

I do count down the debts, its whats kept me going, right, an extra shift is in order then, will speak to work this week, they're always looking for extra cover.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 09/11/2009 10:18

what about him too ?

lilacclaire · 09/11/2009 11:05

He works a lot already anyfucker, is a management position, not really an option at his work, they don't 'do' overtime, but they just get timeback if they need to do extra hours.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 09/11/2009 13:53

ah well...

find him a hobby then...that takes him out of the house when you are there

lilacclaire · 09/11/2009 17:37

He's far too lazy to drag his arse out of the house unless he really needs to sadly, only hobby he's interested in is smoking dope, getting pissed or eating crap, oh don't get me started

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 09/11/2009 17:52

aww lilac, I know, have read your previous threads

sorry

err, give him enough dope/booze/crap he has a heart attack ?

make sure his life insurance is up to date though....

lilacclaire · 09/11/2009 18:08

I wouldn't get his life insurance, not married.
I'm suprised the *at bastard hasn't had a heart attack already, he looks ready for one.
Och well, small mercies, he's rolling one the now, hopefully he'll get too mogered to try and have a conversation.

OP posts:

lilacclaire · 09/11/2009 18:16

No offence to any ample people out there, that comment is directed solely at him.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 09/11/2009 18:27

lilac, your contempt for him is palpable he must make your skin crawl...

I dunno how you stick it, tbh (being serious now)

is it worth it ? or more to the point, will it be worth it ? Because it seems to me that life is too short to force yourself to live like this for monetary reasons

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