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Dp keeps lying to me...... I think its time to finish things.

(4 Posts)
bogie Thu 05-Nov-09 09:57:51

It's only little things he is lying about but I can't stand people who lie, I feel that eveything he say's I need proof before I belive him and I just don't trust him like I used to.
He has been telling me he is so busy at work he has to stay late yet when he was home today I borrowed his phone and found out he has been spending about 1hour everyday (which he said he needs to spend at work) downloading porn to his phone, (he had a porn addiction before and I had put a parental lock on my computer as I need it for work and he was sneeking down in the middle of the night downloading porn and getting virus' on the computer, resulting in me losing alot of work. He also lie when he goes away he told me he was back at the hotel (at abou 11) and he wouldn't get any signal there I had text him and it got dilivered at 3am which means he was somewhere other than the hotel ifhis phone got signal. It is alot of little things like this but I feel so stressed having to check up on what he is doing and think this just isn't going to work if I can't trust him.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern Thu 05-Nov-09 10:04:45

I can understand how you feel about the lying my ex was like that and it was always lttle things and I always caught him out.
But on the mobile phone one my mum stays in a village that I used to live in and in the houses you get no signal at all but the other night I sent her some pics of the dc's ready for halloween at 6pm and she got them delivered at 2am and 4am same used to hapen to me so you cannot say in that instance he was def lying as the signal thing can be quite random sometimes where the phone is sitting can just pick up a tiny bit of signal for a split second.
Do you think the reason for his lying is his addiction? Addict wheteher porn or drugs tend to lie a lt to cover their tracks and possibly shame.
I know that doesn't help you and when the trust starts going it is hard to get it back.

bogie Thu 05-Nov-09 10:11:25

I think in this case the lying was to do with that but there are lots of times he seem to be doing it, Last week he was away and told me he was going to be home at 5-6 I had to struggle all day with ds and dd on the buses in the rain getting shopping then going to football practice. When I got to football practice our neighbours were there nd they said "oh I thought you dp would be here today?" "I said no he is away with work he will be back at 5" they then said "well hasn't he taken the car because it has been at your house since about midday!"
He knew I needed help so I rang him and he said "well I was out untill late with work so I came home early to have a sleep, I didn't tell you because I knew you would over react!!!!!"

sadperson123 Thu 05-Nov-09 10:13:28

I know exaclty how you feel - I didn't trust my DH, and was constantly feeling uneasy about where he was/who he was with etc.

I think you have an intuition to these sort of things, as if he made you feel secure etc you wouldn't be upset or suspicious of the everything.

Maybe tell him exactly how you feel and give him a chance to explain himself, and tell him that you don't like the lying etc.

I think cummunicaton is the best way forward - unfrotunately my DH and I aren't good at talking, and it's resulted in him finding someone else, I'm sure that isn't the case here - it's probably more the porn addiction, but maybe talking to him will help.

I really hope you can sort it out.

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