Or maybe should say 'lack of sex' advice.
I've been reading lots of posts recently about women whose partners have gone off sex, so thought i'd throw my sorry situation into the mix.I met someone a few months ago,hit it off straightaway,loved spending time together,etc.For the first month or so things were really passionate,we didn't actually have proper sex (to begin with was lots of reasons - he didn't stay over for first few weeks,I have small kids,then when he did stay I had my period).We tried about 5 or 6 times I'd say over the next month or two,but every time he couldn't keep it up - he got more and more embarased and eventually just stopped showing me any affection.
Tried to talk about it with him but it was like a blank wall,he just said he wasn't in the mood and didn't know why.He said he was scared of being affectionate to me incase I expected it to lead to sex.He assured me that he fancied me,but I was obviously upset and because he wouldn't talk to me I just kept thinking that it must be that he didn't find me attractive enough.
Anyway I finished it after 5 months cos I was so strssed and upset all the time,although we still got on great in every way other than that we weren't having sex.I am 99.9% sure he wasn't getting it elsewhere,we saw each other a lot and when we didn't we'd chat on the phone.
That was 2 months ago, we've stayed in touch and recently been talking/texting pretty much every day.I still have really strong feelings for him and would love for it to work out but is there really any way forward?I can't/won't be in a relationship without sex,but i badly want to be with him.I don't know how he feels,we've kept the chatting to just friendly stuff,although when i first ended it he wanted us to keep trying and said he would try and change.
He's fantastic with my kids (single mum of 4) they adored him and vice versa.That was part of my reason for ending it though as I hated the idea of them getting hurt if he wasn;t really serious about me.
Some of my mates say he was stringing me along,but why stay with me and spend pretty much all his time with me if he didnt fancy me?He's a good looking guy so surely he'd have wanted to find someone who he did fancy if i didn't fit the bill.
Would really appreciate some honest advise and opinions,I want to tell him I want to try again but am scared of a) being rejected or b) it just being how it was before.
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More sex advice please!
18 replies
GenuineLurker · 21/10/2009 21:37
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