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Feelings about MIL hanging over me like a black cloud. How do I snap out of it?

(3 Posts)
LovelyBertha Wed 16-Sep-09 16:01:36

Another MIL thread, I know. I just need help putting a very nasty ihcident into perspective and moving on.

DD was born 3 mths ago, and we had to stay in hospital for 3 days. We are discharged on monday night. This is the longest ds and I have been separated, so I'm really looking forward to some quiet quality time with dh, ds and new dd. Tues am pil turn up (they have been invited to meet new gd). They announce they've decided to 'make a holiday of it' and are staying until thursday night.

I explain, as politely and calmly as I can, that this is not what we had planned and we really need some quiet time. MIL's reaction is to get really angry/upset. Apparently I am selfish, inconsiderate, ungrateful and rude. They leave. Anyway, at this point I burst into tears, and can't stop crying for about a week.

I really feel like this ruined what should have been a beautiful first week with a new member of the family, and delayed my bonding with dd. No doubt, baby blues were partly to blame for my reaction, but I'm in tears now just typing this.

I've got to see PIL at the w.end, and the prospect of it has got me all negative and weepy again.

Any thoughts on how I can put this behind me? Not just for my sanity but for the sake of dh and dc's relationship with PIL.

newpup Wed 16-Sep-09 17:23:56

Oh poor you. Your pil were very inconsiderate, it is not very thoughtful to assume you would want them to stay!

Hope your DH is supportive and you can just put it behind you and move on. You are not selfish, inconsiderate and rude - they are!

Try no tot let them spoil this time with your family.

Congratulations by the way smile

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 16-Sep-09 17:26:48

What did your DH say?

I suspect they were just disappointed and felt unwelcome though of course it is to be expected that you want some time alone and not have house guests less than a week after giving birth.

I would apologise for any upset when you see them and let them hold the baby a lot and make plans for new baby shopping with them so they do feel involved.

You have the baby all the time so can afford to be the bigger person.

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