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Feel I've done the wrong thing (long sorry). . .

3 replies

hadachangeofname · 29/08/2009 23:02

I have posted before. DH and I were "having problems" and I came to realise it was abusive / controlling poss NPD. I had a solicitor booked and was ready to take definate steps away. Then we had a long talk and decided to try again. That was 2 weeks ago. This morning he started getting amorous when I was a, not in the mood at all and b, practically asleep (it was very early), very tired and just needing more sleep (one of the things he does is disrupt my sleep). Despite me saying how I felt, he kept on and on and eventually I let him, but felt like screaming and hitting him because I didn't want to and was tired.
Later on I made a suggestion regarding something I wanted to do and he just refused, point blank. There was no discussing it (and it was reasonable). Finally there was an incident at dinner where he gave someone we know a title and I said I didn't want him being referred to like that. He asked me to "step out of the room now and talk" and I said no, because I was eating and I did not want to be taken out of the room for a talking to, like a child. I put my foot down. He then walked out, returned after about 15 minutes, took his dinner and ate it in another room, sent Ds1 in with his order for seconds and hasn't spoken to me properly since. Things haven't improved since we decided to try again. It has got to the stage where very few friends or family members will visit. But I don't know how I can find the strength to start the separation process all over again. I feel like such a fool, and did I mention that most people perceive DH as very nice and reasonable.

OP posts:

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 29/08/2009 23:07

You have to find the strength or accept this is your life forever.

And put him on the sofa for tonight.

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cheapskatemum · 29/08/2009 23:07

So sorry to hear you're on the receiving end of behaviour like this. When you write that you feel you've done the wrong thing, do you mean in trying to make things work?

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hadachangeofname · 29/08/2009 23:29

Yes csm, wrong that I decided to try again, because I felt so much better when I had time away from him over the summer. More motivated, more able, less stifled, happier, had a nice time with DC's.
He does these things and then says sorry or that he didn't mean it or he denies that it's happened. He especially does the latter when it comes to sulking, giving dirty looks or storming off in a huff.