Ok, here is the background, When I was a teenager there was this guy I really, really liked and ended up spending a night with him, that was really special to me but after that night I only saw him a handful of times, he got very much mixed up in with some unsavoury characters and disappeared.
Next I hear about him was years later and I happened to start working with him mum, I gave her mum number to give to him and hoped to hear from him but never did
Anyway, quire recently he found me on facebook and he told me that he had always loved me and that the only reason we only spent the night together was because it was all he thought I wanted, when I would have loved to have more.
In the time between this I met my Ds's Dad and ended up in a very damaging and violent relationship, in it he would tell me that he didn't love me, that no one would ever love me, that I was a crap mum, he raped me and used me as his punching bag, mentally and physically.
Now he has been telling me he loves me and that he has always liked me and I really want to say it back but I dont know why but i am scared to, i am scared that it will just be a cruel joke or that once he knows that i have always loved him too he will back off, I don't know
I wish I could tell him how I feel without feeling silly or being worried about getting hurt.
Why do I feel like this? why can't I just tell him? Is this common for victims of DV?
I am so confused
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I need to learn to express my feelings
5 replies
Afraid2love · 14/08/2009 02:04
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