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Fantasising about ex. Not good.

3 replies

Mouette · 17/07/2009 21:22

My husband is kind, loving, and a devoted dad. We are, I think, happy together, especially since the birth of our dear son (we had a lot of trouble getting there, with fertility problems and a late mc). Yet in the past few weeks I have found myself fantasising about my ex. He is very very different from my husband - my DH is going to be a stay at home dad when I return to work, the ex is an officer in the Royal Navy, currently serving in Afghanistan.
I would never be unfaithful, and will never see my ex on my own (no point in inviting temptation), we are still friends though, and occasionally in touch via e-mail. What is going on? Am I just bored? Has anyone else experienced something similar?

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katemumtwo · 17/07/2009 21:29

Yes, very similar situation. Ex is a globe trotting media type, H hates flying and would rather work as close to home as possible. I developed a crush on my ex because of the lifestyle he leads - didn't really want him, just the lifestyle I thought I'd have if I was with him.

We are still very good friends (it was all in my head and I never gave a hint of what I thought to him), but I gave it up the night I went back to his house to have a drink with him and his flatmates after the pub was closed and it was all dirty socks and dope. i suddenly realised that I was a mother, not a student, and that I had been a bit of an idiot. And that was that!

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shoppingmad · 17/07/2009 21:32

Used to think about my ex all the time after I had a rough patch with my DH. Looked him up on facebook and he was a fat middle aged nightmare. I suddenly realised why I married my DH, he is kind, loving and a devoted dad but never here!!!!
I am married to a officer in the Royal Navy!!

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Mouette · 17/07/2009 21:41

LOL shoppingmad! That is so funny. It proves we always fantasise about what we don't have. I think you're right, katemumtwo, it's the glamour, isn't it - it is a fantasy. It seems that the best cure is a dose of reality. So the ex has got to get back from Afghanistan, get out of that uniform, and put on weight. I'm sure it's the uniform that does it!