My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Help - need some perspective on this one!

5 replies

geekgirl78 · 24/06/2009 20:48

Right - feel a bit guilty posting this on here as some other posters are clearly dealing with far bigger dilemmas than this one - but I would love some advice on this.
I was seeing a guy for about two months, and then he dumped me, (by telephone I might add ) out of the blue. The reason he gave was that he had some unfinished business with his ex, and didn't feel that he could commit to a relationship at the time.
Although I was (very) upset at the time, I made an effort to keep things reasonably cordial as he is someone I have to work with occasionally.
Roll on three weeks: we meet for a drink - at his behest - ostensibly to discuss some work I was doing at school the following day. During the evening he apologises for being a twunt, explains that he's met up with his ex, realised that they have no future and has missed me madly. To be fair, he did say that he wasn't expecting me to leap into his arms immediately...,
I don't know what to do. I really like him, my heart leapt when he made the above speech. BUT, I was so upset when he dropped me last time round, and I'm not convinced that it's a good idea to give it a second go.
Any ideas? Am I being very unforgiving?

OP posts:
Report
rivergodess · 24/06/2009 20:54

hey at least he is being honest, i say give him a chance.

Report
aseriouslyblondemoment · 24/06/2009 20:59

imo i'd not give him a 2nd chance
he's treated you shoddily
he's obv.been blown out by his ex who he obv.still had feelings for as is using you as 2nd best
sorry to sound harsh
and i know it's crap
but walk away here with your head held high and self respect intact

Report
ginnny · 24/06/2009 21:01

Give him a chance I say.
BUT keep him at arms length for a while till you know for sure his business with his ex really is finished.

Report
SheWillBeLoved · 24/06/2009 21:02

I'd give him a second chance personally. He could have fucked you around big time, and tried again with his ex without telling you in case it didn't work out with her. But he didn't. He's been nothing but honest it seems, and you like him - so why not?

Keep it casual though, and explain that you aren't anybodies rebound before jumping in.

Report
toomanystuffedbears · 24/06/2009 21:36

I agree with aseriouslyblondemoment...
if you do give him another chance be on the look out for the "second best-good ole stand by" position to manifest itself.

He'll cancel on you if something better comes along...

Don't let your heart get involved for a loooong time.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.