Should I Finally Do IT!!!!

[lizzyboo]

I have known this bloke years, he's lovely. A few years ago a group of us would all go out, and I would always stay at his, in his bed but nothing ever happened, apart for cuddles. I always knew he had a bit of a thing for me, he knows my smell, evidently went round boots sniffing shampoo to find the one I use (sweet or weird?) So I went out with him and another girlfriend a couple of weeks ago and after a few glasses of vino snogged his face off. I haven't seen him since but text to see if he wants to go out for my birthday, I think I might want to do the do with him for a birthday treat, he has been trying to get something to happen for the last 6 years, but I don't want to get into a relasionship. Do it or not? Help

[Castiel]

a birthday treat?

on my birthday i have a slice of cake and a cuppa.

if you are at all serious, which I suspect you are not, then no you shouldn't.

leave the poor bloke alone.

[harleyd]

big mistake
dont give someone false hope when you know they have a thing for you if all you want is a shag

[lizzyboo]

But he is really hot! And it is my birthday and if I am going to do it I don't have much more time before my body goes totally south and I look crap. The snog the other week was one of those sparky ones. If it had been crap I wouldn't even be thinking about it.

[Castiel]

Okay, you're definitely on the troll

[lizzyboo]

If I shouldn't shag him, do you think it would be ok to do more snogging?

[lizzyboo]

What does on the troll mean? I am new to this

[weebump]

How old are you?

[lizzyboo]

32 next week, but my boss told me I looked 38 yesterday!!!! love him

[emmabemmasmom]

If you fancied someone (or even loved someone) for 6 whole years and tried to become closer and then all of a sudden you went out with him for his birthday and he chose to go home with you, sleep with you and make your dreams come true but then told you he did it for a birthday treat for himself and didn't actually want to be with you...how would you feel?

Hope that gives you your answer.

And no, if someone fancies you and you do not like them back then it is your responsibility as a mature adult to stop playing games, so no snogging.

Sorry to be so harsh but playing with peoples feelings is not a nice thing to do.

[lizzyboo]

I know your right emmabemmasmum, so I wont do it. think I must be 32 going on 16, maybe having a mid life crisis. He is too nice and I do love him but only as a friend, just he's suddenly started to look so good.

[ljhooray]

lizzyboo, I think you know its cruel which is why you've asked the question. It's abusing a situation for a bit of fun. If you truly consider yourself a friend to this guy, you need to step up to the mark and tell him the snog was just a drunken accident.
Surely you must know how selfish your OP sounds?

[mascaraohara]

I'd do it.. you really like each other as friends and you had a sparky kiss.. you say you don't want a relationship but that sounds like pretty good grounds for starting soemthing if you ask me.

depends on whether or not you are prepared to lose the friendship if it doesn't work out

[Lizzylou]

Um, no

[lizzyboo]

Ok so I am a really bad person for even thinking about it. I have given myself a slap. I promise I will do nothing to him that would lead him on. He really is too nice and I would feel bad if I hurt him. Was just having a selfish moment.

[lizzyboo]

I like mascaraohara. Not sure I am ready for a relasionship. I have always liked him just one or both of us has always been with someone and now we're not and he does seem to have got better looking with age. Think I will see if he makes a move and go from there. When we were out last I looked round the bar and thought to myself he is the best looking bloke in here, and the kiss was good. Better than good in fact.

[ljhooray]

Good on you Lizzyboo, sorry if I was a bit rough on you but long before Mr ljhooray, I was the friend in the situation you described and it's horrid.
Sounds like you need to get out there and strut your funky stuff at some other gorgeous hunk!

[FabulousBakerGirl]

As a birthday treat for who?

It sound like you think you are doing him a favour.

You snogged him a while ago and then nothing so I don't think he is that in to you.

[lizzyboo]

Maybe he isn't. Maybe he just doesn't think the kiss means anything. I don't know. Il text him when he's home from work and see what he says, how do I put it though?

[FabulousBakerGirl]

I really have no idea.

[scottishmummy]

this is only commital to trial,she can enter No plea at this stage.there is a further period of 6-8weeks whilst evidence for the pre-trial commital bundle is gathered.

[nappyaddict]

Or you could go out see where it leads but make it clear it's no strings fun only. You do not feel ready for a relationship and you don't want to give him false hope. Lay your cards on the table so to speak and see if he's up for it aswell.

[ComeOVeneer]

By lizzyboo on Thu 21-May-09 14:17:05
There is no physical relasionship, there never was really, just a quick fumble, but he has always wanted to do the right thing by his son. we do't even socialise together, I am seeing another bloke.

hmm To be believeable your story needs to remain consistent!

[mascaraohara]

link doesn't work

[ComeOVeneer]

Sorry, not a link it should be