I've always been pretty close to my Dad. We're not a touchy feely emotional type of family, but we got along reasonably well when I was young, even when I was a teenager and have common interests in engineering and sport. My sister was/is much closer to my Mum and is often (unfairly imo) critical of the father Dad was to us.
I am very lucky with both my parents, they live only a few doors away, have my DC 2 days PW while I work and are keen to have them overnight and generally be involved in their childhoods. It's like and old fashioned extended family, without the trauma of sharing a house. e.g we often get a call to say Dad is about to mow grass/wash car and would DSs like to help?
My sister lives 100+ miles away and also has 2 boys, younger than mine at only 1 & 2 yo. Our parents see them about once a month when either they stay with sis or she comes here. After each visit Dad gets really critical either of my boy's behaviour and by implication the way I discipline them (they can be boisterous, but really not that bad. No complaints at school and friends happy to have them etc) or of the way I feed them (mixed diet healthy meals, some treats , whereas sis is still at the absolutely no salt, sugar, juice stage)
I know I'm being ungrateful and I really do appreciate the help I get. I also know sis has always felt she can get nothing right for him, but this is really getting to me now.
I hate to admit it but a large part of everything I do has been for my Dad's approval. e.g when I finally got round to doing a degree aged 34, I kidded myself it as for work, but was really to finally do what dad wanted me to do when I was 18 If I get promoted at work, I want Dad's congrats more than I want DH's.....
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Relationships
My Dad is driving me mad with his criticism of my boys/my parenting of them
4 replies
sameagain · 07/01/2009 21:35
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