Dh has been invited on all-expenses paid trip to Europe for 11 days :(

[Nic04]

Maybe I shouldn't be whinging, but he travels enough with his job enough as it is & now some company has invited him to go on an all-expenses paid, 5 star hotel trip to Europe with their group. I just can't help feeling annoyed that I get left at home looking after ds, while he is out having a wonderful time

He's asked me whether I mind him going - I can't really say no because he also has an opportunity to visit his father overseas as part of the trip. It just BUGS me because we both used to travel a lot before ds came along, and now I feel so left out of it all, & don't have the same opportunities that he has. I shouldn't complain because at least he's got a decent job, but it is a bit like the life of a single parent sometimes...

Would anyone else feel annoyed about this?

[ggglimpopo]

Message withdrawn

[SadSam]

My DP has been quite ill recently and has been signed off work for at least 4 months. He is a Police Officer and has just been offered 2 weeks at a mansion house to recouperate, all expenses paid. When I say mansion house, I mean mansion house, it is luxurious, swimming pools, sauna, solarium, gym, a la carte food etc. When he told me about it I couldnt help feeling gutted, we cant afford a holiday ourselves, but if he wants to go then to be honest with the crap time hes had of it, I wouldnt stop him. I know what you mean though, it would be lovely if I could have been invited aswell so that we could both enjoy it together, however, he has said that hes not sure if he wants to go without me (awwwww) so we will have to wait and see!

[katzguk]

can you not go too?

[SadSam]

No it is for Police staff only unfortunately

[loudmum]

11 days is a bit exceesive - any chance of a compromise he goes for a long weekend... 11 days wth work people wold personally drive me mad and I would be on second flight home... after having had a bit of a chill!!

[ThomCat]

11 days!!!!!!!!!!!! Are all the other people going singletons with no kids? Not only does it seem unfair on you, it's unfair on him, he misses out on seeing you and his son for 11 days.

[lou33]

I'd let him go and then book a break for you for when he gets back

[DaddyCool]

travelling with work sucks. is it just a jolly or is he actually working for the 11 days?

[handlemecarefully]

Yes - it wouldn't sit well with me. But I would let him go, and then arrange some sort of BIG reciprocal treat for myself at a later date.

[Gobbledigook]

SadSam - I think my Dad's been there if it's in the North - he's a police officer too and went for a 'holiday' after a knee operation!

[Gobbledigook]

Back to the thread though - it's very, very tough that one. I think I'd let him go as much as it pained me. I'd want a BIG treat in return though!

[handlemecarefully]

Daddycool - good attempt at male solidarity, but 5 star hotels sans children and parental responsibilities sounds great to me whether he is required to work or not

[mummytosteven]

agree with Lou - either you go along for a few days, or you get a chance to get a break too

[lou33]

i quite liked it when dh went away for 12 days

[NomDePlume]

And there's me feeling sorry for myself cos my DH is on an over-nighter in Cork tonight.

I'd be pretty peeved too, Nic04, but I know what you mean about it not really being up to you to say yes or no. My DH does the 'Do you mind' thing, and whilst I know that he's only tring to be considerate, sometimes I just wish it didn't feel like he was leaving the decision to me. By that I mean, passing the 'guilt' buck.

[DaddyCool]

whatever.. but i only see taxi, plane, hotel, miserable cubicle office, hotel, plane... no matter what the quality of hotel. 11 days sounds quite a long time though and i get the impression it isn't solely work.

[SadSam]

Gobbledigook, I think it is in Surrey somewhere but not sure!

[iota]

I can't see a problem with this actually - dh travels a lot with work and last year spent 3 weeks in the US - a week at a time - but with flights and travelling time he was gone for about 9 days each time.

This year he had the chance to go to Las Vegas again, but didn't bother because he misses his family.

[Gobbledigook]

Oh right, they probably have them all over the country but I know they are nice!!

[victoriapeckham]

I just turned down a free five day trip to california staying at luxury spa being massaged and yoga-ed within inch of my life. It straddled a weekend and i just couldn t face the faffing around getting bits of childcare and the martyred expression on dh's face when i returned. i would be so in the red, relationship-wise. But he goes away without a second thought and doesn t think i've been in least bit marvelous for keeping home fires burning in his absence.

[handlemecarefully]

Vp - you need your head read

at you turning this down!

[DaddyCool]

yeah! i don't mean to make out like a creepy mr. perfect DH but i would really like DW to do something like that. it would do her a world of good. i've tried booking these kind of things but she still doesn't want to leave ds for even a night.

[victoriapeckham]

i know, i know. But the faffing around getting a school pick up here, a baby sit there... then you ring up from trip and he s in a huff because you don t tell him how marvelous he is every five mins for doing what you do every day.

and am i only person in world who finds spas a bit soulless and boring? i d rather have five days in any euro city or new york than being fiddled with by strangers. and jet lag would kill any Zen.

[DaddyCool]

i would love to be fiddled with by strangers but that's simply a different type of holiday.

i wouldn't mind a little of both (types of holiday that is!)

but yes, the jet lag would kill you a bit if it was for only five days.

[Nic04]

Thanks.. glad I'm not the only one who'd feel peeved. NomdePlum, I know exactly what you mean . That really bugs me.

I'll see what I can sort out re: some time for myself - I'm certainly going to make him feel guilty for it in the meantime though