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is anyone elso married to a farmer and fed up with this time of year??

(16 Posts)
sparklylucy Wed 15-Oct-08 17:17:42

I am married to a farmer, have 3 dc's and DH pops in and out works 7 days a week and I get so tired and unreasonable at this time of year. Is there ANYone out there in my situation - I long for him to have a regular job as I fear that one year we just wont male it through harvest and all the landwork that follows.....

sparklylucy Wed 15-Oct-08 18:13:37

ok im alone ill stop moaning

Jazzicatz Wed 15-Oct-08 18:15:04

My dp manages an estate and seems to be permanantly busy - I do sympathise!

MarkStretch Wed 15-Oct-08 18:16:53

My DH isn't a farmer but worked 84 hours last week so I know how you feel. his is 12 hours shift so is often out of the house for 13+hrs a day and he does a lot of nights.

My Dad was a farmer when I was little and I hardly remember him being around as he used to be out working all the time.

Funnily enough he now does the same work as DH and so works 12 hrs shifts too!

I feel your pain!

sparklylucy Wed 15-Oct-08 18:30:21

thankyou thankyou. I have no idea how single mothers do it all on their own all year - you guys out there are heroes as far as I'm concerned!!!!

cravingchocolate Wed 15-Oct-08 18:47:11

Yes yes yes! Completely fed up this year - harvest dragged on and on and there does not seem to be an end in sight. We see him if it rains and he is thoroughly miserable then! I am 32 weeks pregnant with dc3 and exhausted with doing everything on my own!

expatinscotland Wed 15-Oct-08 18:49:44

i lived on a vegetable farm on the border of France and Germany for a year.

and this time of year, we got up at 5AM to help with the work before high school, then came home and worked some more!

the farmer, my host mother, was regularly out till 10PM most nights.

the broccoli, the cabbages, the rhubarb, the squash, the hay, the apple orchard, the pears, aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh.

then her first cousin had a pig farm and it would be hog-killing season and all hands to help with the work. aaaaarggggggghhhh!!!

never ate better in my life, though!

sparklylucy Wed 15-Oct-08 21:06:14

Oh great I feel better already. DH has come home early simply because I have lost it with him for the second time in a week ( promised he would be in so I could go on school mums night out, but forgot he had offered and went ploughing instead) I try very hard to be sympathetic really I do but Cravingchocolate my DH is miserable when not welded to a tractor too. Ah well better go and take back all the evil and irrational things I just said..........

expatinscotland Wed 15-Oct-08 21:11:35

he may condemn you to green gooseberry picking if you don't behave!

my least favourite summertime chore activity.

cravingchocolate Thu 16-Oct-08 14:30:44

If dh manages to come home early, he has to update cattle and cropping records. He has just said that he might be able to take the whole weekend off -not sure what the dc's will do if he is here though! Hopefully when dc3 arrives in December he will be around more to help out with the school run and won't feel guilty for not spending every waking hour on his tractor or looking at cows!

Sourdough Thu 16-Oct-08 14:43:10

Just wanted to empathise.
DH not a farmer, but does have animal-related job.
Works 80 hrs per week over 7 days, regardless of the time of year.
It is very hard to manage everything with zero input from other 'parent' and you can get resentful.
It may not sound helpful, but don't dwell on his absenteeism and try to settle yourself into a schedule that doesn't expect his participation. It's only hard when you feel they are letting you down - if you resign yourself to the fact that this is what he does, you can start to cope better with all the shit.

cravingchocolate Thu 16-Oct-08 14:51:51

I know what you mean Sourdough, even when he is really busy on the farm the dcs can still go and see him on the combine or tractor, and if he was not a farmer I would not be able to have my horses! And I can watch what I want on tv in the evenings when he is busy! grin

Most of our friends are farmers - this year has been horrible with the wet August - all of the wives are exhausted as well with sole child care and trying to support their dh's so they can work when the weather is good.

DrNortherner Thu 16-Oct-08 14:54:44

I know 2 women who were married to farmers who got peed off.

They are divorced now........

Sorry - not what you wnated to hear is it?

TigerFeet Thu 16-Oct-08 15:00:47

DH's job is very closely related to farming. Many of his colleagues work ridiculous hours like those mentioned above (not dh thankfully - his hours are silly but he does take at least one day a week off). It's all year round for his company too - when they can't grow stuff locally they grow it elsewhere and everyone up sticks and goes to where the action is... so there's no let up in the ridiculousness of the hours. They grow a wide variety of stuff too so there is usually something being harvested locally. It's a ridiculous state of affairs isn't it?

MadreInglese Fri 17-Oct-08 09:59:09

Hi sparklylucy, my DP works on a farm and often has to work early/late/long hours/weekends too so you have my sympathy. It does piss me off, esp when he puts his back out because he's taken a risk with lifting, or is so tired he can't help round the house or even hold a conversation, or we have to cancel arrangements because he has to work.

The only way I can console myself usually is the fact that I can't imagine him doing any other job, he loves his job and would be totaly miserable and go stir crazy stuck inside behind a desk all day.

TheFallenMadonna Fri 17-Oct-08 10:01:08

DH grew up on a farm - his parents sold up a couple of years ago. He has a very different work ethic to me grin

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