Have recently come to the conclusion that my mother is toxic - I always said she wasn't but then she denied a few things that happened and said I was lying... a classic toxic parent thing to do.
I now feel unable to talk to her, though in many ways I'm still reliant on her. I don't want my child to feel like I do, I want my child to be free (like I wish I was) and be happy with family, not duty bound to them.
My religion drives a lot of the problems, and I haven't put my son through that, but I find it hard to break free myself.
I also find it hard to talk to people in RL. I am used to being told what to say, I don't know what to do to start making friends - Have tried but the people I've met dont' want to be friends with me. I am not sure what I am doing wrong.
Would suggest you post your initial posting on the "well we took you to Stately Homes" part 4 thread on these relationship pages.
You may also want to read "Toxic Parents" written by Susan Forward. That may be a good starting point for you.
You mention your Mum - where's your Dad in all this, what has been his role?. As a bystander to your Mother?.
Do you think that your Mother and the religion (actually it sounds more like a cult if you feel used to others telling you what to say) you've been brought up in have equally contributed to how you feel now?.
Where have you tried to meet people - sometimes people who try to leave a religious sect find it very difficult. But its not impossible.