I just don't know what to do any more......................

[LadySnotAlot]

In short,

My DH ( I don't know why I call him that now) have spent more than our married life together arguing.

It's got progressively worse. He is abusive, he used my post-natal depression against me by calling me a nutter, or mental or worse and wonders why I take offence to it. He's been aggresive to the point that other people have noticed it and I don't know what to do.

I feel so trapped. Tonight we argued about the reasons why he felt unhappy, even thought he wouldn't tell me what was wrong, I threw his clothes out the wardrobe and he shoved me against the wall and he ended up with a coat hanger cut on his nose. Quite frankly a lot less than I 've ended up with over the years and he has the cheek to call me names.

Does anyone have any advice. I'm at my wits end.

[avenanap]

I don't think you need advice. I think you already know what needs to be done. I'm giving you support and a huge hug though. You know that you don't deserve to be treated this way. Be brave and strong, for you and your children.

[LadySnotAlot]

I'm now being accused of stealing a wallet, which I didn't touch and I wish it were all just easier. It doesn't matter how hard I work or what I do, nothing makes any difference...........

[ConstanceWearing]

Did he give you any reasons for his being unhappy, or did you get the usual 'I'm not happy' shit, without him telling you why not ? (That makes me so angry. Silly gits).

[avenanap]

I don't think anyone here can tell you what you should do. Will he not go to relate or some other sort of relationship therapy and see if this can help you both?

[kidcrazylady]

Hey- my heart goes out to you... I don't know your story, but remember this: you can only be responsible for yourself. Don't let him push you into doing things that aren't in your character or that you later regret about yourself. Get help. If he won't go, do it yourself anyway. You probably need the support from an outside source anyway and any time a man can abuse his wife, you aren't safe. It could get way out of hand so eventually you may need to have a network of support in place that can give you the courage to do that. And one more thing... I don't know what you believe in, but I am praying for you. God cares about you and He's there for you.

[ConstanceWearing]

Yes, good idea, KCL. If he won't go with you get some counselling on your own, if you can. This can be set up by your GP quite often.

It's vital to get an outside and impartial opinion, because sometimes your DH can have you wondering if you are actually as mad as he says you are.

Build a social network. Don't depend on him for all your social needs etc (sorry if I'm stating the obvious) but you need some perspective on the matter. We often don't realise how shabbily/wonderfully we are being treated by our DP's until we see how others get treated by their partners.

Hope you're okay for tonight.

[Ready4anotherCoffee]

hey, I couldn't read without letting you know you are not on your own. As spmeone once said to me, you can only be responsible for your own behaviour, you cannot change anyone elses.

It is so tough, but there is outside support and if you get the chance to sit and imagine beyond the madness of your situation, you will see that your life could be dfferent.