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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Broody but dh has had "the op".......

12 replies

Rozharris · 23/02/2005 21:16

Hi! Not sure where the best place was to post this but this'll have to do.

Wondering if anyone has ever been in the same situation etc.

We have a 19m ds, and I had very bad PND for about a year after his birth (almost split us up, lots of tears and anger etc.) Anyway, my dh has now had a vasectomy, which we both thought was for the best - he didn't cope well after the birth either, and I had very low blood pressure after the birth which was pretty serious.

So now, I've been feeling more myself the past few months and I feel BROODY! dh says he will have none of it (obviously he'd have to have his op reversed.......) I thought I know in my heart that one would be fine, but now I don't know. Is it just a phase???

Know you can't help as such, but just wanted to get it off my chest. Have several pregnant friends and this has been on my mind for days!

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toomanypushchairs · 23/02/2005 21:41

Not sure what to say really, hope you figure out an answer...

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Rozharris · 24/02/2005 07:50

Thanks toomanypushchairs. I think I know in my heart thet we're unlikely to have another. But at the same time a big part of me would like another. Am also curious to hear of any other vasectomy reversals, and if they worked.

Guess I should just count myself lucky that we have one gorgeous ds

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SeaShells · 24/02/2005 08:26

Me and DP are only 25 but he is going in a few weeks to have the op done, we already have 2 kids and we've decided we don't want any more, I go through phases of feeling really sad that I won't ever be pg again, and thinking it's going to be great not to have to worry about getting pg!
Think it is a womans instinct to want to have babies, I always hold out on the thought that if our circumstances ever change, we could always get the op reversed, but despite wanting more babies in my heart, my head says no way!

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Rozharris · 24/02/2005 08:30

Just think it's a case of my heart ruling over my head at the mo :0 It's funny how easily you can forget things after having kids!!

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Toothache · 24/02/2005 08:35

Oh Rozharris - I really feel for you. After ds (3.5yrs)I had PND for about 18mths. DH didn't cope very well (understatement!). We went onto have a DD 6mths ago and luckily I've had no PND this time, but DH seems have it! It's been pretty awful.

Anyway, DH is so certain there will be no more babies, but I just don't feel that certainty. He hasn't has the snip purely for the reason that he's a bit of a blouse when it comes to the Doctor! I've had a coil fitted instead.

My Mum said it took her until her 4th baby was born to FINALLY feel that certainty that she really didn't want to ever be pregnant again.

Do you think you could talk your DH around?

Seashells - 25 is awfully young to be so sure about things. I'm 27 now and DH is 32.
Maybe I'm just a breeder.

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Rozharris · 24/02/2005 08:53

Mulling over wether I REALLY want to talk dh round - at least I can talk to him about it, just our views differ!

By the way, I'm 27, dh is 32, so not old really.....quite surprised the doctor was happy to do it on dh, but as I said, we were so sure about it earlier on. Funny how things can change!

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Fennel · 24/02/2005 09:13

a friend had children 10 years after a vasectomy reversal, but the woman had IVF rather than him reversing the vasectomy - resulting in twins at the first attempt.

maybe think about it for a while, your ds is stil quite young.

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Rozharris · 24/02/2005 18:26

Fennel (or anyone else who may know.) I thought about IVF.....I may sound ignorant asking this, but I was working on the presumption that sperma are still made, just not released as the "tubes" have been cut? Does anyone have any idea how this would work for dh, having to have sperm "removed" if this is the case?

Sorry about all the questions!

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vicdubya · 24/02/2005 18:42

Roz

It is possible to have IVF using sperm collected from your dh testicles with a needle (yes, mine did it!!!! hope yours is not squeamish!)

The main issue is the cost, you can't usually get it done on the NHS, one cycle of IVF with sperm retrieval will set you back around £5000.

A vasectomy reversal costs around £2000 but is not all that likely too work.

HTH

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Rozharris · 24/02/2005 18:46

Thanks Vicdubya.....certainly gives me food for thought. Your dh is VERY brave.....

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vicdubya · 24/02/2005 18:56

More like worn down after 7 years of nagging...

If you want to take it further you need to get your dh to ask his GP for a referral to a urologist, who can discuss your options.

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Rozharris · 25/02/2005 14:11

Vicdubya - think I may have to resign myself to no more.....dh, although he will let me talk to him about it, is VERY anti. But how DO you stop feeling broody?? Hope it's just a phase..... Can't think of anything that might change dh's mind, and can see that going on about it will cause arguements