Sorry if this is really long but here goes!
The basic history is that my mum has a severe alcohol problem, she's been getting very drunk every night for at least 6 years now. She becomes well...crazy after even a few glasses of wine... It seemed to get worse when I ran away and was put in foster care when I was 12 so have always blamed myself and she has always blamed me too!
I got married at the age of 16 and moved out on the same day, she refused to say goodbye and just gave me a cold stare as I left. I didn't call her until I discovered I was pregnant two months later . After my son was born she would call every night, usually at 6 so that she could hear every little thing about Theo's life... Every now and again she would call later and she would be utterly pi$$ed...she called me all sorts fo things - fat, lazy, stupid... a satanist, a whore, a prostitute, anything she could lay her hands on and she would always back it up with 10 minutes worth of reasons...I could handle that... but one day in early October of last year she called and told me that because I had changed Theo to formula after 9 months of purely expressing breastmilk (hell!) that I was a bad mother and that I was physically harming him and that i wasn't fit to have children.
I basically blew my top and hung the phone up. I then emailed her telling her that I wanted no more contact with her until she had joined an AA group or was having some kind of therapy, I even sent her lists of local AA groups .... She never called back or wrote or emailed ...
Last month my DH persuaded me to invite her (via email) to Theo's 1st birthday party... as it draws closer and closer to the date I'm beginning to get very stressed and I have no idea how to handle the situation...I want it to be a really fun day ...
The really sad thing is that I'm 17..I live 250 miles away from her and to be honest I miss my mum ....although really I miss the 'idea' of a mum that I never seemed to have ..
Sorry that turned into more of a blub than a question!!!
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How do I handle this situation with my mum?!
13 replies
Fastasleep · 14/02/2005 13:30
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