I don't know where to start. My relationship with my inlaws is dreadful. My MIL has spent 12 years trying to split my husband and I up and we have had a series of rifts with his parents over the years as my husband continually takes my side to my MIL's fury. We are at the start of another rift now and haven't heard from them for 6 months. I feel upset and angry about this. I have always tried my best with them, but I will never be good enough for him in her eyes.
My relationship with my own mother has never been easy, but I have just returned from a week's holiday with her at her house with my husband and children which was a total nightmare. I feel that I do not want to go back there again. My Mum is a very cold woman. She seems reluctant to help me with the kids, constantly criticises their behaviour and refused to look after them for just two hours to give me a break with dh.
I have three children of 3, 4 and 5 and am finding it hard to cope with them. We live abroad. My husband works long hours and I get very little help with them from him (he needs a break too, but we have nowhere to turn for this). I find I have no patience left with the children and feel some days I shout and tell them off all day. They are three boys and they fight all the time.
The icing on the cake is that I now feel paranoid about my relationship with my husband which has always been good. I wonder if he blames me for the rifts with his family, although he says he doesn't. I feel I am now questioning his love for me. I wonder if he feels I expect too much of my mother and that I shouldn't get so upset when I get rejected by her over and over again. We have started arguing a lot over this. He says I am getting at him all the time. I didn't think I was. Maybe I am expecting my relationship with him to go bad..... but maybe I am making it go bad? A self fulfilling prophecy. I can't stop myself.
I feel that there is a big black cloud over my head and that all the relationships around me are disintegrating. I can't shake this feeling. I am questioning my state of mind and wondering if I am a bad person. I feel really strange.
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Relationships
All my relationships are going bad. Is it me?
9 replies
SuziQT · 04/08/2008 20:15
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