Sssh! News update on the teen daughter of a rainproof jacket!

[rainproofjacket]

Hi everyone. I am sure you will work out who I am - I am trying to be discreet as you might remember dd took to reading my posts about her on mn.

I don't think she does this any more, but just to be on the safe side I left it a good few months and posted this thread in disguise But I did think that all you lovely mums who helped and supported me through a really tough time deserved an update.

As I've mentioned, the reason I stopped posting about dd was because she took to reading the threads. I wasn't worried about anything I'd said but it obviously inflamed the situation.

Things are much better. Two big milestones have changed things. One was that we decided to investigate moving house this year. We aim to look for a property with a granny flat or outbuilding or the potential to build one. She will be 16 in the summer and it is increasingly obvious that, being the very independent type she is, she won't be able to bear living with us for much longer. We were worried that she would just leave and give up her education. This way she can have her own front door, lead an independent life while we support her though 6th form. We will be right there if she needs us but she will have the life of a singleton. This suggestion pleased her no end. I was so relieved when we thought of it, as I knew she was pushing us to see if we would reject her like her father did.

Secondly, we discovered that she was harbouring beliefs that my dh had done some awful things that in fact he hadn't - and this explains why no matter how hard he tried she always said she hated him. It turns out that some minor things we had discussed with friends had accidentally been exaggerated like a chinese whisper as they were discussed with their daughter and then ours. It was all completely accidental but by chance all came out in the open recently and we were all very relieved that at last we had found the reason for her resentment. It was then easy to dispel her fears and she is now getting to know her stepfather. Their relationship has improved no end.

We still have the usual teen dramas including a totally out of control phone bill! She has flashes of temper and calls us names much as in the Observer article mentioned on another thread today...but a year ago I had a depressed, even suicidal girl on my hands who was going through hell and was hell to live with. The difference is massive.

So thank you everyone who offered their support at that time, you probably kept me from going insane! xxx

[NameChangingMancMidlander]

What a turnaround ! It sounds like you've really turned a corner with her.

[miam]

Cannot tell you how pleased I am to hear this! Was a bit worried about asking by email incase she could infiltrate those and did not want to rock the boat, but have been wondering how things were going. What a relief for you - this just goes to show what a fabulous parent you are (and dh sounds like he is one in a million too) - your perseverence has paid off. Congratulations again. Loads of hugs to you all. xxxxx

[lou33]

brilliant, am so pleased for you all

[galaxy]

Great to hear this and it's lovely to hear a positive story like this.

[popsycal]

[Tissy]

thanks for the update, rainproofjacket , glas things are going well.

[JanH]

Brilliant news, rpj! Finding out that there was a reason (even one that was wrong) for the way she behaved with DH must have been such a relief - thank god it did come out. The teeny-flat is an excellent idea.

[GRMUM]

That is great news rainproofjacket. Best of luck to all of you. Great solution if you don't mind me saying.

[hoxtonchick]

really pleased things are so much better for all of you.

[kalex]

RPJ, Thats FAB news, really pleased that everything has turned a corner for you!!

[Potty1]

rainproof - glad its improving for you at last

(previously Luckymum)