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newly separated and the living is hard

(7 Posts)
potqueen Fri 21-Jan-05 17:59:13

Dh moved out last Saturday, have seen him everyday except Wednesday when he has come to see dd. Am still is shock, I think, as it's only just over 2 weeks since he told me he'd had affair, felt he had to leave. In that time we've had to tell everyone including dd (not about the affair.) Even though marriage has been awful for years - and I think he is an alcoholic- see last post about alcolholism and separation, I still feel so sad, so much turmoil. Have been ill variuos things ever since his bombshell, can't sleep more than four hours despite sleeping pills from GP, shaking with anxiety as I write this having stepped inot the breach for a friend, when teenage babysitter forgot. As well as my dd I have her two dds and ds here- in fact I am in her house with them all. Which is good in one way as the computerDH bought for me just beofre he left with the other one is so slow and does not connect half the time. I could rant on like this for ever- would just like some relief from all this misery. the night he moved out I woke up and manically sorted out all my bits and pieces. Have now lost wedding, engagement rings and 40th birthday necklace which I think I saw in the middle of that night - seems like a dreadful symbol of what has happened. Have already done all the practical stuff like seeing solicitor and no real worries re £ which I know makes me very lucky compared to some. But by this time of day I just want to lie down and cry. And I can't becasue dd is here and soon we will go back to the house and dh will come round. I will not be able to read replies until tomorrow as I have no computer until get to sister's house. Will be good to know mumsnetters are out there hopefully posting replies.

pot queen

ladygarden Fri 21-Jan-05 20:06:03

Oh you poor thing PQ. I don't really have any advice but I'm sure others will be along soon. In the meantime big hugs {{{x}}}

Aimsmum Fri 21-Jan-05 20:18:25

Message withdrawn

weightwatchingwaterwitch Fri 21-Jan-05 21:17:21

Poor you, I don't have any advice but I'm sorry this is so awful for you. You're bound to feel sad, it's normal. Is there anyone who you could stay with or get to come and stay with you, just to be some support through this? When I was at my lowest it somehow helped me if I wasn't alone in the house.

Avalon Fri 21-Jan-05 21:39:11

potqueen - sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. Is it possible for you to have some 'me time' doing something fun/indulgent just for you? If your sister can have your dd, I'm thinking massage, trip to the hairdresser's, facial. Maybe even just a long hot bath and a good book. Perhaps you could plan a weekend away with a friend or your dd so that you've got something to look forward to.

Hope this helps.

winnie Fri 21-Jan-05 22:17:49

potqueen, I am sorry yu are going through this. It is early days and feeling heartbroken is understandable. I guess you will probably go through many emotions yet. Separating can be a grieving process and takes different lengths of time for everyone. I agree that seeing h everyday is not good for you. I don't think you have to do anything yet (except those horrid practicalities that have to be done). Be kind to yourself and look for support whereever you can find it (and take people up on offers made). Am thinking of you x

potqueen Sun 23-Jan-05 02:52:12

thanks for all your support. Myself and dd are staying at my sister's for the weekend which has been a great break and a laugh. My BIL is gagdet obsessed so while he's been sorting out my pc, dd had driven us all mad having been let loose in his music studio, on the remote control cars, the blackberry etc Abd we had a hysterical go in their jacuzzi bath, flooding the bathroom and drenching all my clothes in the process. So as well as crying on sister's shoulder a lot I have also had a laugh . And since my first post a good friend who is also an editor has given me some freelance writing which will help take my mind off things and give me some self esteemback. So you may find me coming back to some of you in another guise wanting to interview you for features (can guarantee anonymity if sensitive ones but we'll have to be plain old Kate rather than potqueen).

That's all for now. Insomnia still dreadful but it's nice to have some hugs to collect at 2am

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