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Online dating - some advice please

(16 Posts)
Bertha1924 Sat 06-Feb-21 23:43:00

I have been texting a guy for 2 days but we haven’t spoken in the phone. I suggested we zoom call or exchange messages by email as when I log into the Plenty of Fish website to check for his texts it seems to attract lots of messages.

He replied by text that he rarely zoom calls and doesn’t check his emails regularly. Is this a warning sign or was I just being too forward to suggest it. Not sure if there is some sort of protocol?

OP’s posts: |
JengaJanga Sat 06-Feb-21 23:46:43

Not many men want to video call.

Not unless they are very into you

Mermaidwaves Sun 07-Feb-21 00:25:49

I've not come across many who want to chat on the phone or email, whatsapp seems to be the preferred method when you come off the app. Beware those who want to use kik, those guys are usually the cheaters, just my experience anyway.

DianaT1969 Sun 07-Feb-21 00:42:43

Does he live fairly nearby? I'd suggest WhatsApp, then after a couple of days ask if he wants to meet for a walk. Don't waste time on anyone who can't be bothered to meet for an hour.

Bertha1924 Sun 07-Feb-21 01:58:55

I am fairly useless at techy things .... how do you WhatsApp someone - do I need his phone number or does he need mine - apologies for dimness.

OP’s posts: |
seensome Sun 07-Feb-21 02:12:36

@Bertha1924 download WhatsApp on your phone, add him as a contact, if he's registered on WhatsApp then you'll find him when you search his name.

JustAnotherOldMan Sun 07-Feb-21 07:44:07

I’m not dating, but if I was, txt or WhatsApp would the way, emails to impersonal and not everyone likes video calls.
May be he is also not v techy and just sticks to text ?

CodenameVillanelle Sun 07-Feb-21 07:48:01

I hate video calls with prospective dates and if a guy suggests it I would rather not bother at all. However you can't keep messaging through the dating app - the usual thing is to swap numbers and go onto text or WhatsApp.

OppsUpsSide Sun 07-Feb-21 07:51:11

Yea I’d go for texting or WhatsApp too

OppsUpsSide Sun 07-Feb-21 07:51:36

Mind you, the fact he didn’t suggest it as an alternative is a bit confused

Lovelydiscusfish Sun 07-Feb-21 08:55:17

I’d suggest moving it to WhatsApp too, tho some people are funny about giving out their contact details too soon and prefer to keep it on the dating app to start with.

I don’t blame him for refusing a zoom call I have to say - I would fucking hate a zoom date. As a PP said, ask him to meet for a walk? If he likes you he’ll be keen to meet in person soon. But there are a lot of time-wasters around sadly......

SortingItOut Sun 07-Feb-21 10:03:17

You are only 2 days in, I would say that its usual to stay on the site.
After a week you would generally move to Whatsapp.

Personally I wouldn't be giving my number out to someone after 2 days.
For security dont give out too much personal info early on.

Chocolate123 Sun 07-Feb-21 10:13:00

It's 2 days relax if it's going to progress it will don't push it

MNCar Sun 07-Feb-21 10:17:26

I’d meet up for a walk sooner rather than later.

Otherwise you invest too much time, energy and connection on someone you may not feel it with in person.

Take it steady. Lots of men on these sites are messaging multiple women the same stuff. Watch for red flags.

If you have mutual friends listen.

Lovelydiscusfish Sun 07-Feb-21 11:17:51

SortingItOut

You are only 2 days in, I would say that its usual to stay on the site.
After a week you would generally move to Whatsapp.

Personally I wouldn't be giving my number out to someone after 2 days.
For security dont give out too much personal info early on.

I think this is quite a common feeling - I thought back, and a lot of the men I chatted to, when I asked for their number quite early on (because I didn’t like having to keep going into the app and seeing messages from men I was trying to ignore), they reacted like I had suggested we go and perform necrophilia or something. Same with some of them when I suggested (horror of horrors) actually meeting!

And I’m not criticising anyone who has this approach - it’s horses for courses isn’t it? But worth finding someone whose timeframes and preferred means of communication are similar to your own, as you are likely to be more compatible generally.

Good luck OP - hope it works out!

Bertha1924 Tue 16-Feb-21 00:56:11

Thanks for all your advice. Think a meet up would be better.

OP’s posts: |

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