Next steps

[Robbie316uk]

Hi all, I met this girl a few months ago she made it clear she wasn’t looking for a relationship so we just started seeing each other for sex, it started to develop and we became closer but she constantly said she will never get feelings. Fast forward a few months and she would want to hold hands in public, plan trips away with me when lockdown ends, do all the kind of things you do when you are together. I have been introduced to some of her close family, we bought each other gifts for Christmas etc and the other day she just turned round and said it’s moving too fast and needs space, I have said ok but the thing that’s confusing me is has she got feelings and is scared or is this it. She hasn’t spoken to me for a couple of days but keeps putting Snapchat’s up of her chatting with men on tinder. I am not in love with her but obviously I have grown to care I just don’t know if this is her being scared or what, any advice or insight or past experiences would be appreciated.

[Jumpers268]

I'd call it a day on this one. Maybe she is scared, maybe she's gotten feelings for you, maybe things have turned into something she doesn't want. I think the Tinder Snapchat things would be enough for me.

[Fran856]

She sounds ridiculously immature , don’t think she knows what she wants or maybe she enjoys getting a reaction from you , what ever the reason run a mile , whilst every your allowing her to treat you like this she certainly will

[Improvementsunderway]

Dont hold your breath. I'd cut it loose. She does not want a relationship. Even if she enjoys the perks of it; she is obviously very open and happy to play that with others too. Find your one. She is not it. You are looking for different things.

[Sunflower1970]

Run for the hills. She is a game player. Block and move on she’s disrespecting you

[seensome]

She wants an open relationship, don't waste your time on her.

[Robbie316uk]

Thanks everyone I think you are all right, just very frustrating as yes it built up but literally I was just going along with the flow and now I am completely out of the picture, I asked if I could talk to her and she just said she doesn’t feel like talking, my problem is I take it very personally I’ve not slept much since trying to work out what I have done wrong but I am all out of ideas. I am hoping that eventually she comes out of whatever it is but I am not holding my breathe anymore. If it was going too fast then why introduce to family, ask me to stay over, try and plan a holiday....maybe it is just games but I do not get the point. Back to having a lonely lockdown again as she was in my bubble and was the only person I had social contact with.

[thebestnamehere]

Run. She's telling you what she is but you ain't listening

[calamitykay]

I agree.
I have known females do the same behaviour for both reasons. Some do love (or are falling) but do get scared. Some are playing the whole "treat them mean" game. In both instances though I have known these females to be extremely immature and often entitled.

For what it's worth I've also seen painfully shy and burned females who are scared but are courage's enough to be honest and vulnerable. They don't play these games and keep their feelings known. These are the females that are genuine and need to just meet a good man.

[Robbie316uk]

So anything was taken out my hands today as she has turned round and said she just wants to be friends with no added benefits, I asked why and she said she wants to enjoy single life and focus on herself with no commitments. I put forward what I think but she said I should have just said okay and got on with it so now not even sure if friendship is an option. Bit annoying as I did like her but as always it seems things will not work out, I have said when she feels ready to reach out but I doubt that will happen. Thank you all for the advice and words.