Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Feel I get no credit? But am i being petty?(4 Posts)
I feel that I do my share in the home, I have done a lot of things like renovate furniture, sometimes my meals are amazing, il do a lot of things with my child and put full effort in.
Iv noticed something tho, my husband takes the credit for all i do, he might say we or just not mention i did it. And im not there to back myself up. So when hes face timing his parents and im upstairs i can overhear the conversation and he acts like he does everything with my child without putting my name in there, or if they ask has she been doing much he will say yeah went out for walk everyday this week and he will repeat what iv told him and it almost shocks me. Whenever iv asked him or if iv happened to turn up il say yes i did take her and have an input. It makes me feel like thy just think im a lazy slob. Once i renovated a piece of furniture and he it got complimented by my father in law, he then just said yes it took ages. He painted it but i did all the sanding and everything. And he just said yeah i painted it up etc. He mainly does this with his parents and it makes my blood boil at times. He does say things from time to time that im hands on but its just this house stuff and parenting he loves to take credit for. He always calls them when im not there so il say im going for a shower and when i come out i hear it all and im just like fk off but i cant run down naked and say NO NO I DID THAT haha.. and he sits there with my child like oh lets show nana this and he never does that normally. So strange!!
Why does he do this?
Is it petty for me to care?
If i talk to him believe me it will blow up into an argument! Because we are living in a virtual world its harder and has become a habit. In person its not as bad as il b there and would intervene. I feel i have to prove i do these things too.. and sometimes il send pictures over and share what iv been doing in my week! Helppp its annoying me.
In the home my husband is nice, he helps me and compliments what i do, he tells me im a great mum etc. I feel weirdly i need validation from my in laws i dunno.if im really insecure or something. Please help and advice.
I'd call them for a chat under the guise of checking in in them with the whole covid thing. And say things like 'do u need anything renovated? I'm a dab hand with the sander after that chair! And then hubby can paint it for you too'.
It sounds like HE needs validation from his own parents, like he feels he should have done the things you've done, so he pretends he did it.
I don't think it's much to worry about if it's only his parents he says it to.
My DP is the same, as they're very judgy people, so he'll embellish what he's done/been up to, which yes does sometimes include things I've done.
But I don't think they care what I've been doing anything. And I don't think I'd care even if they did!
Yes I think you are right. I do think he needs validation from them as his Dad is a picky man who wants to hear that his Son is doing right.
Please login first.