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Happy Birthday, not

(17 Posts)
CracklinRose Sun 25-Oct-20 23:35:16

It’s my birthday today, one of many! My partner of 18 months text me this morning to say he couldn’t come round as he had a ‘cold’ although he’d been happily doing a diy project all week and managed to get out of his sick bed to go to Tesco yesterday. That’s all well and good but my husband died on my birthday 7 years ago and although it isn’t quite as raw I feel guilty of enjoying my birthday and he could have done so much to lighten it. He’s now been dumped but I have to admit there’s a few tears in my g&t x

OP’s posts: |
BuffayTheVampireLayer Sun 25-Oct-20 23:39:57

Happy birthday OP! And sorry for your loss flowers.

I'm glad to read you've dumped him. He doesn't deserve you. I had a birthday recently, second one with my DP and he cannot do enough to make the day special for me and to show me what I mean to him. That's what a partner should do, it's not difficult.

CracklinRose Sun 25-Oct-20 23:42:26

Thank you x

OP’s posts: |
Enough4me Sun 25-Oct-20 23:43:42

A bad cold would have had him laid up in bed where, let's be honest, he could have ordered you a massive card, flowers and promised you an IOU that you know he would have delivered on.

The useless arse doesn't deserve you. flowers

SuzieCarmichael Sun 25-Oct-20 23:45:18

Happy birthday! You are a strong woman, OP, what a lot you must have had to deal with. flowers I hope there’s brightness in your future, you deserve it.

CracklinRose Sun 25-Oct-20 23:48:37

You’re all lovely xx

OP’s posts: |
Gigipixiz Sun 25-Oct-20 23:56:30

I am sorry this happened to you it’s horrible to feel like this. Can I make what might seem like a weird suggestion. Move your birthday, pick a date and celebrate another time of year.
My birthday always coincided with horrible things- my parents separated, a huge huge falling out with a family member, my FIL died the day before and then my 11 year old godson died a few days before it. No matter how how I tried to celebrate I couldn’t avoid those negative feelings and the slightest thing became huge and devastating everyone and everything disappointed me but it was mainly because of how I felt. It was miserable. So I moved my birthday several months and celebrate it then. I now can mark the anniversary’s feel sad and not feel guilty that I also want to celebrate my birthday. I have done this for 3 years now I totally ignore my birthdate zero acknowledgement and honestly it’s the best thing ever, I celebrated this year following the ease of lockdown because it’s not tied to a date. I had a small party with friends, went for lunch with others.

B1rdflyinghigh Mon 26-Oct-20 00:21:14

Happy Birthday!

I too have dumped men for not putting in the effort on my birthday. I always think you should be spoilt on your birthday, if men you're with dont embrace that, then get rid of them. Im convinced if you meet the right man, theyd want to spoil you .

Anordinarymum Mon 26-Oct-20 00:22:45

Happy birthday from me too x x

CracklinRose Mon 26-Oct-20 00:24:32

Thank you xx

OP’s posts: |
Eekay Mon 26-Oct-20 00:24:54

What a git! All power to you for getting shot of him. So sorry that your birthday holds such sad memories.
Unmumsnetty hug and best wishes for future birthdays with someone who deserves you.

Norwolf Mon 26-Oct-20 01:42:19

Happy birthday OP.... flowers.

You were right getting rid of him.

lazylump72 Tue 27-Oct-20 18:20:59

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday OP....You sound a very strong,sensible independant woman to me..stay like that! Settle for no less than you deserve in life!

Holothane Tue 27-Oct-20 18:58:49

💐💐💐💐💐he’s not worth it hugs. Now treat yourself.

workshyfop Tue 27-Oct-20 19:14:17

Happy Birthday for yesterday. You sound awesome and were right to dump him. May this year bring you wonderful things 💐

CracklinRose Tue 27-Oct-20 19:24:50

Thanks to everyone for your replies, it’s really helped. x

OP’s posts: |
MotherFeeder Tue 27-Oct-20 19:28:20

Happy birthday OP!!

I think you've just given yourself the best birthday present ever by getting rid of your loser ex bf. You are worth much more than this his bad behaviour xx

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