Don't want sex anymore cause it's so boring

[agertha]

Been together a long time.

Sex has become so boring and mechanical and he just doesn't seem to care no matter how much I bring it up.

There's no flirting, not much touching, or connection on his part. It's just roll on roll off or get behind roll off .

I can't remember exactly how things were in years past, but I do remember feeling that he fancied me, wanted me. I don't feel that now. It feels like it's a duty for him or a physical need for release.

I'm really starting to resent it and I feel like refusing to have sex from now on. I know that won't help matters and will likely damage the relationship, but he just doesn't care. He just denies it, says he will make effort, says he still fancies me (how?!).

Seems like a catch 22.

Has anyone's relationship come back from a situation like this?

[category12]

Well, having sex you don't want and don't enjoy will also damage the relationship - and your emotional wellbeing.

Perhaps you should try relationship counselling/sex therapy?

[Pesimistic]

Do you feel sexy ? When I feel sexy I have better sex, perhaps take some time away from your sex life to get to know you again sexually. You also dont have to have him call the shots for sex, your allowed to not be passive in your sex life.

[Cheeseandwin5]

Apart from bringing it up, what exactly are you doing about it?
You know you both have equal responsibility for your sex lifes.
Arrange trips away, clothes, positions, places etc etc
Its not just up to him to solve.

[Requinblanc]

All you need a new partner...

[RantyAnty]

Him just rolling on and rolling off is 100% his problem.

He sounds very lazy and only concerned with himself.

I would refuse from now on.
The next time he tries it, tell him he's going to have to do more to get you excited for sex.

[SoulofanAggron]

I'm really starting to resent it and I feel like refusing to have sex from now on. I know that won't help matters and will likely damage the relationship

Don't have sex when you don't want to. xxxx