I'm hoping someone on here can give me some useful insights, I have a problem that I am so struggling with. I'm ashamed to even write it but I hope that by doing so I can get some help with it.
In a nutshell, I cannot stop controlling my husband and at times children. When I say control, I mean how they do things. For example if my husband is making dinner I will get really cross inside and snappy with him, because he is not making it how I think it should be made. I know this sounds ridiculous and you may be thinking just make it yourself but this is just one example. It's almost everything he does or how he is. Somedays I want to change everything about him and leave quite frankly. Other days I can see that he is a kind man who I love and want to build a long life with.
With the children, I can sometimes get quite snappy when they don't get ready for bed in my timescales or when I have to ask them for the hundreth time to brush their teeth. I know alot of this with children is just their different priorities but it literally drives me insane and my reaction can sometimes be cold as I'm trying not to express the intense rage inside of me. My 2 year old is very needy at the moment and the control that I feel she has over me by constantly needing me if she is upset, which thankfully is not too often) makes me stir crazy.
So as to not drip feed, I have already undergone extensive counselling (over 15 years with different therapists) due to a difficult upbringing. I know where the control issues come from, violence and anger in my family home and being sexually abused as a child. i carry around with me the instability of that home and so now I am trying to create that stability by controlling my home and those in it. I feel so sad writing that. I know the problem, but just can't move on from it and build anything stable and balanced. This is now really affecting my marriage as I;m not the easiest person to be and I am terrified of giving my children a bad childhood. WE have done some marriage counselling which was good but i go back to my old ways as that's what I need to do to feel safe. I honestly don't know where to go with this. if anyone has any experience of this and what they did to get out the other side I would be grateful to hear of it. I need some hope and practical solutions to work towards before it is too late for my marriage and I can't turn it around with my children. thankyou in advance
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Relationships
I can't give up control (potential TW)
Slowlygoingcrackersagain · 19/10/2020 22:15
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