I don't even know where to start, I suppose I'm looking for those who have pain-in-the-bum-mother-in-law's to share stories so I don't feel so alone.
Don't get me wrong I don't hate her and she has some great qualities but I just don't know how to handle her, we are very different people.
Mother in law in her early 60's, single and has been for 20 odd years. My husband is one of 3 sons (he is 31, then 33, then 36). To say her sons are her whole world is an understatement.
We see her once a week, she's a 25 minute drive away from our house. We ALWAYS host. We haven't been invited to her house for dinner in over two years.
She turns up at our house uninvited, even if I've said we are busy. Example 8.45am on a Saturday morning, she just turns up "thought I would pop over anyway". She has let herself in to our house before.
She doesn't talk about anything but herself, I don't think she even knows what I do for a living even though I have been with her son for 8 years.
She talks in a baby voice, when she sees my husbands she tries to pick him up and kisses him all over his face.
When she messages me, she will say "I hope you are not drinking" or some sort of lecture (I'm a 29 year old woman and my choices are mine, good or bad and I don't even drink much!)
She will play on how lonely she is, however has a very active social life, a lot of friends, goes away for long weekends, holidays, get togethers and so forth but her sons feel guilty
She has kept everything throughout her life, example still has her sons cribs, mattresses, toys, if suggested they have to go, she will yell nooooooo and pretend to cry.
For my birthday she gave me a ripped second hand scarf that smelt (my birthday is in summer) - for her birthday she texts round the family a list of what she wants (an Ipad has been on the list). I don't ever ask for anything for my birthday, I'd rather have had nothing than being insulted by something found in a lost property bin.
Sister in law had lost a necklace, saw it round MIL's neck weeks later.
My own mother is sadly no longer alive (I lost her just before i met husband) but on mothers days it is all about her, wouldn't or hasn't ever asked if I'm ok. She's there with her "boys" (as she calls them) and us wives are sat round a table awkward not being acknowledged.
Right before my wedding day she said to me how sad she was that her Mum wasn't there (her own mum passed away at 89 years old a 3 years before) - which is understandable but mine wasn't either but kept going on and feeling sorry for herself.
She lives in a 5 bedroomed house on her own that she owns, complains she has no money, but won't downsize as I think she believes one day they will all move back.
I always wanted to have a mother in law who could be a friend, but I feel like mine resents me for "son stealing"
Husband has suggested she tries dating, she is absolutely not interested.
HELP!
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MIL - HELP!
14 replies
sausagerollsss · 24/09/2020 15:52
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