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Abusive relationship.. When do you start to feel better

(8 Posts)
Mummybiscuitx Fri 04-Sep-20 16:14:09

Just that really.. I've posted a couple of times.. I left an extremely abusive relationship which was horrifically violent, my DD witnessed all sorts of abuse.. I just think today, three months on from leaving somethings hit me like a tonne of bricks. I'm starting the freedom programme on Monday and I've been referred to for counselling. I just wondered those who had left abusive relationships.. When in yourself did you start to see the light? Today I think I'm just angry and disgusted he's the father of my child and that I let him treat me that way.

OP’s posts: |
LadyH846 Fri 04-Sep-20 17:18:35

It took me a few months to feel better but then mine only lasted about 18 months, and mine was not violent. It was verbal and emotional abuse instead.

What helped me was moving on and dating someone else who was fab. I also did the Freedom programme.

Have you read 'Why does he do that?' by Lundy Bancroft. That really helped me. It's a book about abusive men, why they behave as they do and why abuse does such a number on us.

LadyH846 Fri 04-Sep-20 17:20:08

If you haven't read it already, that book might help you answer the question 'why did you let him treat you that way?' it's a very complex answer that has a lot to do with human brain chemistry.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Fri 04-Sep-20 17:20:17

I think it takes a good 2 years to be honest

Doyoumind Fri 04-Sep-20 17:20:56

I don't think things will magically change at any specific point but it will ease off gradually. I haven't done the Freedom Programme but from what I hear you will feel the benefit of that quickly.

category12 Fri 04-Sep-20 17:33:20

It might be helpful to look into some support for your dd or the two of you together, if part of your worry is what she's seen? I think Action for Children have services for children affected by domestic abuse.

flowers Well done on getting out, and best wishes for your recovery.

Dontknowwhyidoit Fri 04-Sep-20 21:12:41

I was with my ex for 10 years and he was physically and emotionally abusive. I felt instant relief within the first few months as I had a freedom that I wasn't use to, we were no longer walking on egg shells but I did feel lonely and sad at times as well. I think everyone is different and it depends on a number of factors such as how good your support network is, how well your daughter is doing and how you process what you have been through. I hope you feel happier soon 💐

slousa Sun 20-Sep-20 17:07:31

Lundy will be life on Rachel Williams afternoon zoom, look up Dont Look Back.
It is £15 but if you are a fan I am sure it is a must join?

Us Freedom Programme Facilitators want to help as many of us ladies as we can do x

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