My partner and I (of a year) went through a bit of a difficult time this year. We’ve managed to work through things but she asked to slow things down, she had a huge breakdown due to life events catching up with her and wanted time to focus on her without the pressure of more life events in a relationship. We went from living together to her going back to her dads and searching for her own home to buy. I already own my own home. She is approaching 30 and feeling a bit of the blues, you know, where you feel you’re not where you wanted to be by the time you hit that age etc.
Anyway, coupled with the above, our relationship to me feels like it has changed. She used to be so interested in me, and message me all the time (even when we lived together), we would talk about the future, and generally I would just feel that spark of love and interest. Now, she takes hours to respond to me, when I broached then subject she says it’s unhealthy to be messaging all day everyday and that she has been spending less time on her phone and sorting her shit out. She largely talks about herself when we do talk on the phone - she says it’s because when she asks me about me, I don’t go into much detail and I’m quite short so she fills the gaps by her talking. But truth is I don’t feel she is interested in me when I do talk. Or as interested in me in general. She spends the majority of her time with her gay guy best friend, they’re together to almost every night. I guess I struggle from going from having this solid relationship to her stepping things back and wanting to slow things down.
We had an amazing and very close relationship before her breakdown, now she can be quite distant and she pulls away unintentionally when she has a bad day and it makes me feel unimportant, she used to talk to me and keep me in the loop now I feel like I’m just a stranger. I’ve talked to her about all of this but she tells me she can understand why I feel that way but for her that couldn’t be further from the truth, she loves me and is in love with me and wants things to work out.
So why do I feel like this? Am I just being too needy? Or am I comparing how amazing our relationship used to be before her breakdown and I need to get used to things being ‘different’ now? I feel like we’re dating and not in a relationship...
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Relationships
Am I being needy?
9 replies
Whitelion12 · 07/08/2020 07:48
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