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DP friends rings him everyday about 10 times

(13 Posts)
Flowers009 Thu 06-Aug-20 18:29:58

I have been with him for nearly 2yrs and this one friend does not stop calling him. Sometimes they work together so when it's about work I obviously have no issues with this However the 7 other calls are about "what are you doing"

We were on holiday not to long ago and the whole time the guy rang him down, this is when I said something about it as I find it so disrespectful that he is continuing this behaviour when we are abroad.

DP said if he doesn't answer his friend "throws a tantrum"
The guy was when on holiday with his partner constantly ringing my dp

Since we been back its been the same, the guy has a new job and him and DP barely have work together, haven't since we been back

Still it continues, I blew up about it today and DP just thinks i have "issues"

I'm literally the most relaxed gf, I don't care if he goes out where ever ect never have issues but this grates on me.

Its like DP is scared of him. Both them are early 30s.

Aibu?

OP’s posts: |
Flowers009 Thu 06-Aug-20 18:31:42

And this friend must always know where he is going, why or what he is doing. I know this from DP answers on the phone.

Like today I asked DP if he could hurry up and get ready and via his replies the friend was trying to stay on the phone when he said he needs to get ready

OP’s posts: |
SandyY2K Thu 06-Aug-20 19:14:29

It's excessive to call that much...but your problem is that your DP didn't see it as an issue.

I wouldn't want a future with him, if he can't instill boundaries and his 30 year old mate throws a tantrum.

Can you imagine having a baby with him and his friend constantly intruding on family time...it's rude that your DP would continue taking his calls especially on holidays.

It would make me consider the relationship...unless he was just a gap filler BF...and you've no plans for a future with him.

How have you put up with this for nearly 2 years.

Scarydinosaurs Thu 06-Aug-20 19:17:51

He has poor personal boundaries and this is probably just one of many relationship problems he will have

Whatsnewpussyhat Thu 06-Aug-20 19:19:16

That's really weird and creepy. Especially the tantrums of he doesn't answer.
It's like being in an abusive relationship but with a friend instead of a partner. Being constantly checked on etc.

CodenameVillanelle Thu 06-Aug-20 19:19:41

Well obviously the friend is a total weirdo but so is your DP for tolerating it.

Tappering Thu 06-Aug-20 19:21:35

You have a partner problem.

If he sees no issue with this and thinks that you are the one that's being unreasonable, then I would leave and find someone else, because you are never going to win this argument.

Aquamarine1029 Thu 06-Aug-20 19:21:56

Something is wrong with your partner for going along with this. Very odd and it would piss me off enormously. Fact is, you come in second place to his friend. You can do far better.

Flowers009 Thu 06-Aug-20 19:52:59

Thank you everyone and I agree. I am rethinking this relationship a lot

OP’s posts: |
category12 Fri 07-Aug-20 07:01:08

Bit of Brokeback Mountain going on?

TheGirlWithAPrince Fri 07-Aug-20 07:22:27

your DP sounds a bit wierd to not see it as an issue.

What about when you have kids? if you also have children then his friends antics will be even more unwanting, imagine trying to deal with the children and then having this guy phoning up all th time

CandidaAlbicans2 Fri 07-Aug-20 11:00:55

It's not you, OP, it's your DP's weird friend and the fact your DP thinks it's OK to be treated like that. Very odd. Your DP said if he doesn't answer his friend "throws a tantrum", so why can't he see that's unhealthy!? Have you managed to discuss it calmly at all to try and get to the bottom of why it happens and why he doesn't care?

MyLifeWTF Fri 07-Aug-20 13:42:44

Honestly I had to comment on this because I literally experienced the same thing with my ex. His friend would call loads and at all hours and my ex never set boundaries so if it was 10pm and friend finished work and called ex, ex would stay on the phone!

Laying down watching a movie at night, friend calls ex would answer! It would infuriate me and I'd get annoyed at the friend but actually ex allowed this behaviour and he wanted to answer so it's just one of those things....I still get a bit annoyed just thinking of it but it summed up our relationship pretty well 🤣

Anyway my point is it's your DPs problem and he has to set boundaries.

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