well I told him...

[Glittergirl80]

I told my H l want us to separate after 14 years of marriage, 14 years of mental bullying, laziness, doing nothing around the house, doing nothing for and with our 2 boys or me. It didn't go down well and he's refusing to move out until he has his money. I've told him l can't get a mortgage till l can get universally credit and I can't get that with him in the house. l want to try to keep the house purely to avoid further upset by uprooting my boys but he said he would rather just sell the house than move out before he's got his money!! He also wants to tell the boys immediately and has made it clear that he will tell them its my fault as its me who wants this. I am tempted to tell them myself first and explain to a point (they are 11 and 8 and the 11 year old in particular is always at loggerheads with his dad) but is this wrong? Any advice re any of the above gratefully received xx

[Pelleas]

No real advice other than to see a solicitor ASAP for some legal advice but well done for taking this step and good luck.

[WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo]

If you believe your children and /or yourself are being abused or at risk of abuse then you can look at getting an occupation order. If he is determined to drag the children through emotional trauma As some kind of revenge this might be a good option. Try to get evidence though, ie if he plans to have this conversation with the kids and you can’t stop him, record it (you don’t have to tell him you are). Communicate on email & text so you have it in writing. Put the children first in everything is sound advice.